Gotta Cottage?

Hi there,

Here it comes…the first official long weekend of summer. (Okay..technically it’s not really summer yet, but go with me on this one)

Going to the cottage? Me neither.

Own a cottage? Yeah, right.

If you’re like most people, a cottage is merely a place you rent from someone else for one or two weeks every second year. Still, some great family stories originate during Cottage Rental Season and you always leave with The Thought.

Ahh, yes. The Thought. The one that echoes in your brain the entire four to six hours it takes to make your way down the 400 to your real life.
The Thought.

The one that goes something like, ‘We gotta buy a cottage. It was SO much fun! Yessir, gotta get us a cottage!’

I’ve had it. You’ve had it. Everybody has had it. But only the few, the strong and the brave have actually followed through on The Thought. Here are just a few reasons why I’m not part of those few, brave and strong.

-Cottages are a lot of money. Even if you get one the size of a double outhouse with Big Dreams To Rebuild, you’ll pay through the nose. Plus, you have to LIVE in the double outhouse every weekend. With your family. Entertaining them at night with your soon-to-be-not-very-interesting Big Dreams To Rebuild stories.

-The drive. Pick any 400 series route you want. Doesn’t matter when you leave and when you return. You’ll be stuck in ridiculous traffic and it’s all you’ll talk about the entire weekend. Your wife and kids will tire of your rants and spend all of their time at the neighbours’ cottage having fun while you dream of one day flying in with the Spielbergs.

-Cottages are hard work. Every person I know spends all weekend repairing something at their cottage. Roof, door, window, plumbing, dock, deck, outhouse, shed. (Repeat. Catchy, isn’t it?) What’s that? You’re handy with tools? Good for you. Get a cottage and prepare to be humbled.

-Bugs. My God, man! The bugs! They’re big, fast and hungry and they like you. A lot.

-Annoying ‘fun’ neighbours with a boat and a deck. Your kids will love them. You won’t.

Maybe it’s just me, but give me a rental any day. You swoop in, stay a while and swoop out. Leaky roof? No heat? Tap water smells like sewage? Not your problem. Let the owner of the cottage take care of it.

You know, the guy who had The Thought.