The Weekend!

Dear Mr. Skunk (or Ms. Skunk....I really wasn't that interested in getting close enough to check.  Sorry.),

Um, it's me again, the human who found you hiding in our garage yesterday, the one who was sent in to investigate after his wife told him honey, something big is in our garage, because some really big things have been knocked over, and your yard waste bag has been tore into pretty good, holy cow it's like an M. Night Shyamalan movie in there, and I said oh please honey let me take a look and whoa! holy cow you're right!  Sure enough, you made such a mess, I thought it was some giant, man-eating raccoon or something, but it was just you, about the size of a loaf of bread, not even, hiding in the corner, scared I think, and kind of cute to be honest.  Anyhow, Mr./Ms. skunk, I asked you nicely to leave, and sure I tried to squirt you with a water pistol, but it was just water, and it was just to try and coax you out of there and out the door.  Sorry about that.  Anyhow, this morning there was no sign of you, so I'm hoping you accepted my offer to leave on your own after I left the door open for you.  I'm hoping.  Oh, and thanks for not spraying anything. 

Yours,

The Human