EZ Rock at Work with Darryl Henry - blog

The Weekend!

Some things I will ponder as we enjoy our first July weekend:

Where do the picketers take their garbage? Maybe they have their own dump. That nobody pickets.

My neighbour Mimi has a rose bush with enough blooms on it to outfit a float on next year's Tournament of Roses parade. I have a rose bush with one bud on it, that has taken approximately a week to show signs it may, may, just open. This hardly seems fair.

The last time gas went down 4 cents the Friday before a summer weekend was...never. I think, anyway.

I play hockey, and It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game. Well, until you go O-For An Entire Month. Then, really, you just want to win. To see if you still can. That's why you may have heard a bit of a big WOO HOO! at the Powerade Centre in Brampton Thursday night. O-for July too would have been tough to take!
Weekends, in summer especially, are too short.
On that note, have a good one!

Back From Vacation!

Some random thoughts after spending a week playing tourist with Tanya's sister and beau:

The CN Tower should adopt a new slogan: "The CN Tower. Not Just For When You've Got People Visiting From Out Of Town!" The CN Tower is cool, and the Skypod is still the highest observation level in the world that's not in Shanghai. Take that, Burj Dubai!

Everyone Loves Marineland. It's true. The jingle speaks the truth. It may be because it has the best line-up-to-really-cool-ride wait-time ratio in the world. You just walk on to these mind-blowing rides! Oh and Kayla got to pet a whale.

On Vacation!

Off on vacation for the next few days. We have Tanya's sister and her beau coming to town from Vancouver, and of course for The Beau, it has to be his very first time visiting T.O. I'm sure he'll come away with a very favourable impression of our little town! They have mountains. We have mountains! Only of garbage. Gulp. Oh well. We'll be going up the Tower, going to Marineland, and anywhere else it will be kind of hard to really see the piles.

Have a great weekend, and I'll talk to you again Thursday of next week!

Wednesday - Thursday

Tuesday-Wednesday

Oh oh. Apparently none of my raccoon ideas from the last blog do any good. Shawn, who works on our website, told me he has a nice family of about 5 or 6 living under his deck, and here's what he has learned:

1). Light doesn't bother them in the slightest. It does, however, bother your neighbours.

2). They actually like talk radio.

3) Ammonia shammonia. Shawn had a dish of it out by their "home" to keep them away. They just swatted it aside.

Poor Shawn has tried everything: put up lattice to prevent them from going under the deck (they tore it down); sprayed them with the hose (they stopped, waited for it to end, then carried on); threatened to kill them (they knew he was bluffing. Hefty fine.) So it looks like there's only one thing left to do: move. Or, go to Canadian Tire and buy a trap.  Good luck Shawn.  Let them loose near my house and I'm coming after you with the hose.  Hooked up to a tank of ammonia.

Monday-Tuesday

Ah, Toronto. Home to the Happiest Raccoons On Earth! Because it's Garbage Strike Season! Imagine Mandarin, doors open 24/7, and it's all FREE! That's what Rocky Raccoon is thinking right now! YAY!

Ahem. So, here then, a refresher course in Keeping Raccoons Away 101:

1). RACCOONS ARE NOCTURNAL. Well, most of them, anyhow. Lord knows we've all seen the odd bold one cavorting around in broad daylight, but by and large they only come out at night. So try and store your garbage in a well lit place, somewhere you can keep a light on all night long. And the brighter the better.

The Weekend!

Oh oh. Just got a call. Tanya and Kayla. At Yorkdale. Off to do some Father's Day shopping. But. And it's a big But. They stumbled across the Disney Store. Going out of buisness or something. Big sale, anyway. 40% off. My wife and daughter. In the Disney Store. With 40% off everything. This bodes ill for Dad.  Focus people.  Remember why you're there.  FOCUS!!

Have a great weekend...and Happy Father's Day!  If I get a Goofy fridge magnet, I'll let you know.  And of course, I'll still be happy!

Thursday-Friday

Exams. Ugh. Just writing the word made me shudder. I saw a girl on the streetcar last week poring over a math textbook. Graphs. Symbols. Numbers. I had a highschool flashback. Calculus. Mr. Johnston. AHH! Get out of my head. Anyway, exams are upon us, and if you have a kid dreading I mean studying for them, here's a tip I found from a memory expert who's name, believe it or not, escapes me at the moment. His advice: when you crack the books to prepare for a test, try every once in awhile to change location. Apparently this helps the brain to retain stuff. Break up that study session and, say, move to a different room. The memory expert whose name I forget says while no one is quite sure why, it really does pay off. I wish I had know this when I was writing exams. I would have moved. To another town. Until exams were over, anyway.

Wednesday-Thursday

I went with Tanya for her consult at Lasik MD yesterday, and it was one of those moments when I realized, holy cow, there is so much out there I know absolutely nothing about. So much. Know nothing. Nada. I mean, these people are going to use a laser to adjust the cornea of my wife's eye so she can see again. Where do I begin. Who thought of this? Who made the equipment? Who knows how to use it? I know who: Not Me! That's who! One of the doctors yesterday measured the thickness of her cornea. If I had to measure the thickness of this desk right now, I'd probably get it wrong. It was about 520 microns, in case you were wondering. Her cornea. Not the desk. I even had to ask how big a micron was. A thousandth of a millimeter. That's small. I think. On the wall was a poster of the eye. There were a hundred different words I had never seen before on that poster. Never seen them before. These people not only know the words, but they know what the things attached to those words are, and better yet, know what they do, and holy cow, me? Well, I've heard of cornea, and retina, sure...and, and...and it ends there. And don't ask me what they do. They help us see. There.

Tuesday-Wednesday

My wife has had it. She's had enough. It's over. The end is nigh. She is getting rid of that annoying nuisance that has irritated her to no end all these years. That's right. She's throwing out my 20 year-old Sperry Topsiders.

HA! No way Jose. Those babies aren't going anywhere. No, actually, she's decided to ditch the lenses. The contacts. And the glasses she never wears because, well, she feels the same way about herself in glasses as she does me in those Topsiders. Enough said. Anyhow, we heard plenty of good things about Lasik MD, so we're off to their Sheppard location near the DVP for a consult. I'm looking forward to her getting it done. Maybe then she'll see...those shoes aren't all that bad!

Monday-Tuesday

With apologies to Helen Reddy....

I am Daddy, hear me roar. In numbers too big to ignore!

And I know that we get get short-changed on our day.

Mommy gets way more in gifts,

This is sure to cause some rifts,

But we will not just let it go and turn away.

We are strong (strong!)

We are invincible

We are Da-ddy!

Ahem.

Yes, it's true. Studies have shown that on Mother's Day, the average mom receives about $123 worth of stuff, while dads receive...wait for it...$90 worth of stuff. Whoa. That's Gift Inequity right there. Illegal in at least 3 provinces. It's an injustice to be sure. But I think I can speak for most dads when I say, it's okay, we'll be fine, we understand, we're not mad. For we are Daddy. Hear us roar. Hopefully at a Jays game. I'd love some tickets! Or a Leafs game? That would be good. Honey, are you listening?!

The Weekend!

Yay! Weekend's here, weather's nicer, cold's almost over, Kayla's excited about going to the cottage, Tanya's getting Lasik, the Jays are 7-5 since The Streak, neither the Senators nor the Habs won the Cup, they've released another season of Entourage on DVD, my boss at times looks a lot like Sasha Baron Cohen's new character Bruno, my boss doesn't read my blog, none of the annuals I planted have died yet, my sis turned 50 and doesn't look a bit like it, it looks like they're making progress on the St. Clair streetcar disaster, there's cold beer in the fridge, the grass is cut, the bbq works, and the weekend's here. Yay!

Thursday-Friday

Much to the delight of my wife, Colleen Rusholme told me yesterday, out of the blue, to never again wear the shirt I had on. Ever.

Me: Hey, good morning Colleen!

She: Darryl, that shirt's gotta go.

Me: Huh?

She: Don't ever wear that shirt again.

Me: But I like this shirt.

She: How old is it?

Me: Um, I bought it the same weekend I saw Forrest Gump.

At that point she just shook her head, and slowly walked away.

Wednesday-Thursday

I know there are worse things, but I've had a head full of goo since just after the May long weekend That means it's been about 3 weeks since I got this particular strain of airborne misery, the Summertime Cold. Colds, as the name implies, should happen...when it's cold. Therefore after say, March, we should all be able to move the Cold-Fx from the medicine chest to the linen closet, go back to buying the cheap Kleenex, and not have to worry. Oh well. At least I haven't been alone in my goo-filled-head world. KJ has been fighting one too, taking his Oil Of Oregano, which apparently makes Buckley's Mixture taste like a Coke float by comparison. Ugh. Anyhow, I think my white blood cells are finally getting the upper hand, meaning I may be cold-free by July. And still married. My wife ran out of sympathy about 5 boxes of Kleenex ago!

Tuesday-Wednesday

We were up north last weekend, and I'm not saying the mosquitoes were bad, but when I suggested to my wife we get a bat house, you know, because bats keep the bugs away, she didn't slap me across the face, scream, run terrified, and hide under the covers. No. She actually looked at me thoughtfully and said, Hmm, Honey, that's not a bad idea!, to which I wondered, Hmm, Honey, who is this clever impersonator pretending to be you? But it really actually was her, and the reason she was suddenly warming up to the idea of offering aid and comfort to The Bat, just below The Spider on her list of Things That Make Her Act Irrationally (once made a boyfriend travel all the way across town in the middle of the night to kill a spider; good thing it wasn't me; might have been a dealbreaker;) is that according to science bats eat 1,000 mosquitoes an hour. 1,000 and hour. Or, roughly the number that bit us per hour this past weekend. It was so bad on one foot my wife had what appeared to be a second ankle. So, desperate times being what they are, calling for desperate measures, my wife may soon be signing off on us getting a bat house. If she ever gets around to squishing spiders, I'll let you know.

Monday-Tuesday

To: June

cc: M. Nature

From: Concerned Citizen

June,

We need to have a talk. Please sit down.  Now.  June, Sunday my furnace came on. In the afternoon. That's right. In the afternoon. Then, I cut the grass.  And I had to wear a jacket. Yes. A jacket. June, you're the middle month. The half-way point. We wait the entire first half for you. For you are June! Warm, lovely, bird-chirping sweet June. So. Clearly, we need you to do better. We didn't live through Snowmageddon so we could cut the grass in June in a coat, you know what I mean? We get 12 weekends in summer. We look forward to your 4. And so far, June, to be absolutely frank, your performance has been well below expectations. And please don't blame this on "climate change". Honestly, it's becoming a bit of a crutch. Besides, things are supposed to be getting warmer, right? Right. Now carry on. I can only hope we won't be having this conversation again anytime soon.

The Weekend!

I read a good tip from the Lawn Boy folks about cutting the grass this week that I thought I'd share! Even though I'm probably the last guy to give lawn-cutting advice! That's because about 5 years ago, I ran over my toe with a lawnmower! Ouch! 
Ahem. That's right. I ran over my big toe. Hey, just a flesh wound. No biggie! Well, not exactly. It felt like it had been hit with a baseball bat, swung by Jose Canseco at the height of his steroid usage. But luckily the blade went, believe it or not, between my big toe and the one beside it, resulting in 7 stitches but no actual toe loss. Boy did I catch a break there. I now only mow grass with my steel-toe-and-shank workshoes, and I kept the shredded sneaker, which hangs in my garage, as a reminder. The safety-shoes thing isn't the tip however, even though I'd highly recommend them. The tip is this: try cutting your grass a different way the next time. We all usually have a habit of mowing in the same pattern: east-west, north-south, or in a square. Apparently, if you mix it up, it'll train the grass to grow in different directions, leading to a fuller lawn. Worth a try, huh? Try it! I will. And hopefully, all I will cut is grass. Have a great weekend!

Thursday-Friday

Saw 'Up' yesterday at the Empress Walk cinemas in 3D, and I learned something very interesting about my little girl: if you don't want her to pick up, handle, play with, put on, etc., a pair of glasses, she will. If you do want her to pick up, handle, play with, put on, etc, a pair of glasses, such as, oh, 3D glasses for a 3D movie...she won't. Odd. The 3 year-old mind works in mysterious ways.
Fine movie, 'Up'! Not exactly the story I was expecting, but it was entertaining all the same, and yes there's a good chance you might cry. More than once. The animation is eye-popping, especially the balloons. It's incredible how real all of this digital animation is, but for me, the balloons in this movie are unlike anything I've ever seen. They had to create 20,622 balloons for the scene where the house lifts off, although the film's technical director estimated in real life it would actually take more like 25 million balloons. Which, coincidentally, would probably have been the number needed to bribe Kayla into keeping the glasses on.

Wednesday-Thursday

I take a bad picture. I have three basic looks when it comes to getting my picture taken: Jowly-man (see web photo); known terrorist (see passport); and psycho killer (see any and all others). I don't know why this is. I should have the genes...my gram, in all her 104 years, never ever took a bad picture. Never! Anyhow, seeing as this is picture season, what with summer vacation, weddings, grads, I looked up a known photographer and stylist, Sharon Haver, for some tips. Here they are:

1. Keep your head up as though someone is gently pulling on your hair.

Tuesday-Wednesday

Rats! I missed seeing that big Airbus plane land yesterday. Foiled by that nasty 3pm Toronto traffic. 3pm. Jammy bits on Black Creek and the 401. At 3pm. Nuts. Anyhow, I guess I get my Watching-Planes-Land gene from my dad. He would go when he was young, and back then there were no fences whatsoever. He would walk right up to the end of the runway to watch them fly in and out, which today would probably land you in Gitmo. Heck, I had a couple of Peel Region's finest run my license when I was plane-watching on Silver Dart Drive a couple of years ago. You know you're in for an interesting conversation when it begins "Good afternoon sir. This would be a pretty good spot to shoot down a plane, don't you think? Your license please, sir." Yikes. Needless to say I have not returned to Silver Dart Drive, my favourite spot, where planes scream overhead only about 50 feet off the ground. Nope, it's the Wendy's on Airport Road for me, a decent back-up, and hopefully soon that giant honkin' Airbus, sure, not the prettiest plane in the sky but certainly the biggest, will make one of its landings almost right over top of me. If I don't get stuck in traffic.

Monday-Tuesday

It rained every day of my vacation, so I completely understand if you inquire as to the other weeks I'm taking off this summer in order to make sure you're not off then, too. Man did it rain in Orlando. A couple of times a day the sky would turn black, and this hellacious thunder and lightning storm would roar past, looking to seek and destroy any and all Good Vacation vibes in its path. They had more rain than when hurricanes hit. It was the lead story every night on the news. The Governor declared a state of emergency. Shamu was seen doing his show from peoples backyards. Crazy. There was fun, of course...have you seen the video of us riding the Manta at Seaworld? If you're a ride fan, you have got to go. When we were there, a group of about 50 people from ACE was on hand. ACE: The American Coaster Enthusiasts. A roller-coaster fan club. Who knew? They LOVED the Manta, and rode it again and again. A 9 out of 10 one told me..."and there's no 10 out of 10"! I was going to tell him, yes, there is, and it's called Our Landing Last Night In The Middle Of One Of These Crazy Thunderstorms, but I thought nah, maybe that was just me, watching too many Maydays on the Discovery Channel. But hey, rain aside, it was a great trip. Kayla discovered the freedom and magic of waterwings in the hotel pool; I discovered the freedom and magic of screaming my head off on the world's most state-of-the-art roller coasters; and Tanya discovered the freedom and magic of shopping one of Orlando's mega outlet-centres. Fun for all! And yes. I'll get those other dates for you ASAP.

On Vacation!

There are many perqs to doing what I do, and one of the big ones may at first appear to be heading back to Seaworld to ride their new ride. Hey, I'm going back to Seaworld Orlando! So I can ride their new ride and tell you all about it! But upon closer inspection, this is no perq. No sir. I'm heading back to Seaworld Orlando, and riding Manta, their new roller coaster designed by the company that did not design The Flyer. Clearly. The Flyer? Charming, wooden roller coaster. Manta? Evil, terrifying, head-first and face-down nightmare. I will be strapped into this beast and, at highway speeds, "spin, glide, skim and fly like a giant ray!" Or so says the promotional material. I've seen pictures of this madness, and I think I'd rather spin, glide, skim and fly on an actual ray than ride this thing, but hey, I'll do it. I'll do it for you, out of a sense of professional duty. They will mount a camera on the car in front of me so you can see first hand the sacrifices I make for you. And I will try hard not to scream like a girl.

The Weekend!

Queen Victoria. A great Queen who, let's be honest, never took a good picture. Hey, she had 9 kids! I'd never take a good picture either. Queen Victoria is a heroine of mine because of one, simple fact: she decided that all meetings be held without chairs. Brilliant. She realized no one like to stand, so by making people stand, meetings wouldn't take as long. And anyone who thinks like that is alright by me. And beautful.  No matter how, um, non-photogenic!

Have a great, and safe, long weekend. See you Tuesday!

Thursday-Friday

I've never liked vegetables. I have vivid memories of dumping a ton of HP Sauce -- yes, HP Sauce -- on my peas. To mask the flavour. Of peas. This would drive my dad bonkers, but not as bonkers as when I would actually gag while eating them. Nice, huh? Kid Of The Year over here! Gagging at the table eating vegetables! No wonder dad would escape right after dinner to the basement, where he would build something. Anything. Happily, things have changed since then. I eat peas now, although only the small ones. Sizes 1 & 2. Yes, they actually have peas sizes. Check the label. I don't like the big wrinkly ones. Only sizes 1 & 2 please! I think I just heard my dad running for the basement. Anyhow, one veg I've actually come to like over the years is asparagus, and soon they will be in season. Yum. Drizzled some last night with a little melted butter, toasted pine nuts, and a splash of lemon. Sure beats HP Sauce. Couple of asparagus tips, pardon the pun: wash them well, because the heads can collect a lot of sand; try to use them the day you buy them; and wide ones are just as tender as skinny ones. No sizes 1& 2 here.

Wednesday-Thursday

Because children can't head up north sleeping on the parcel shelf of the car anymore without threat of serious jail time (I loved it back there. Very roomy and comfortable, the parcel shelf of a 1965 Buick Wildcat!) you have to keep them occupied. Kayla's been watching a lot of tv lately, so coming down with a case of badparentitis, we kind of want to avoid the DVD player for this long weekend's trek, and luckily, Tanya came across a few new fun games to play when she checked one of her favourite websites, savvymom.ca. One is, Name That Cloud. You know, take turns finding clouds that look like things! First wiseacre who says Hey that cloud looks like...a cloud! buys the Timbits at the reststop. Another fun one is the Silly Sound game: I love this -- assign a different funny sound for things you see: for instance, a red truck could be a hoo-hoo. A hoo-hoo! I'm laughing already. Really! Just say hoo hoo and see if you don't laugh. And a red truck going slow in the middle lane? He could be a ding-dong. Kidding! The website suggested that for cows.

Tuesday-Wednesday

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING MAY NOT BE SUITABLE TO ALL READERS, ESPECIALLY MY WIFE.

Spiders. Great, big, hairy, bird-eating tarantula spiders are invading homes in Australia. That's right. I said bird-eating. These spiders EAT BIRDS. They are as big as your hand. Go ahead. Put your hand on the table and using your fingers, make it walk. See that? They are that big. And some are even bigger. Honey, if you're still reading, this is the part where you pass out, so I'd suggest you stop. Right now. Ahem. Where was I? Oh right. Some are even bigger than your hand: one woman found one in her house that she said, and I'm quoting, "looked like a dinner plate with legs".

Monday-Tuesday

Mother's Day was just perfect at our house! Well except for the fact that I forgot my wife is a girl. Oops! Sorry I missed that honey. Life is so busy these days, such small details can sometimes fall between the cracks! Ahem. Actually, let me explain. What I really forgot is that there are bikes for girls. So I bought my wife a bike for Mom's Day...a used one that Larry and Joanne fixed up beautifully (need a bike tune up? L&J Cycle on Davenport near Ossington. They're the best!) and she unwrapped the little box that had the note Kayla wrote (with a little help from dad) that said "look outside" (okay, more like "LooX OuT sI De) and she opened up the back door and said..."Oh! A bike!" Then, a pause. Funny look on face. Oh oh. My mind raced. What? wrong colour? What? Then the answer. "A boys bike." And my heart sank just a little. NO! That wasn't a GIRL'S bike I bought? It was a small bike, and so therefore I thought that made it a girl's bike. Alas, that bar that runs across the top wasn't angled down. The mark of a true girl's bike. Never did quite understand why girls bikes were like that...to make it easier to get on if you're wearing a miniskirt? Do you really want to ride a bike in a miniskirt? I digress. Anyhow, just as actresses like to be called actors and women hold open doors for men, I honestly didn't think there was such a thing as an adult girl's bike anymore. I mean, Larry and Joanne didn't say anything when I told them it was for my wife! So honey, I'll drop the seat as low as it will go and we'll go for a spin. Sorry if you were planning on wearing a miniskirt.

The Weekend!

We're off to my cousin Greg's on Saturday, as he and his wife Deb are hosting their annual Mother's Day Family BBQ. Greg has rounded quite nicely into the role of elder statesman of the offspring, the collection of us 14 cousins. That wasn't always a given, as exhibited by a rash of odd behavior as a young man, probably best illustrated by the fact that one night he quietly scaled the roof of the neighbourhood Taco Bell, and stole the bell. That's right. He stole the bell. This was important to Greg, as at the time he was all-consumed by his role as frontman of possibly the best air-guitar band in the history of Rexdale. Greg and his pals, with their fake guitars made in shop class, built a stage in his parents basement, and every Saturday night put on a show. Dry ice and everything. Well, almost everything. See, the band's big finale was Hell's Bells by AC/DC. And so, one night, Greg somehow climbed the roof of a busy restaurant and removed a giant plywood and stucco bell without getting caught. Risky, yes. But when that baby was wheeled out on stage, and Greg air-donged it at the beginning of the song, well needless to say, it was all worth it!  A proud moment indeed.  Ahem. Today Greg is a hardworking, responsible adult, a loving father of two, and, to some Taco Bell franchisee somewhere, public enemy number one!

Thursday-Friday

I know this is going to sound odd but when I was young, on Mother's Day, I would also buy my dad a gift. And ditto on Father's Day: I'd get mom something too. See, I didn't want them to feel bad. To feel left out. I know. Crazy. Now, you might say gee Darryl, what a sensitive boy you were! And my sister would say, gee, not when he was kicking me under the dining room table! And I'd say, Dee, you started it! And my dad would say nothing, just break out the paint stir-stick, and that would be that. Ahem. Well, yesterday I was at the card store in the Yonge-Eglinton Centre, you'll never guess what I saw: a Mother's Day card...for Dad. That's right. For DAD! Maybe I wasn't so crazy after all. Somebody else out there doesn't want anyone to feel left out! How sensitive they must be. Except at dinnertime.

Wednesday-Thursday

Jon and Kate Plus 9. Hmm. That's just not going to work. How about Jon, Less Kate, Had To Mate. No! They're just friends. Sigh. Maybe...Jon's Out Late Poor Kate? Nah. Hang on...maybe Jon and Kate Plus Litigate? Not bad! I think that's it!

Sorry. Just continuing a daydream I had as I was overlooking the tabloids waiting in line at the supermarket yesterday. The Jon and Kate Plus 8 producers meeting in some TLC boardroom. And you thought you had a tough day.

Tuesday-Wednesday

They polled 500 moms recently and asked them for their best...and worst...Mother's Day gifts. Here are the top three worst:

1. Kitchen appliances.

2. Gardening tools.

3. Cleaning supplies.

Yes, you read right. Cleaning supplies. There is only one person who could give his mom cleaning supplies for Mother's Day, and that would be Mr. Clean, as clearly clean runs in the family, but he's not a real person, and therefore doesn't count. Whomever gave their mom cleaning supplies needs to be bopped on the head with a Swiffer. By the Shamwow guy. The following were the best gifts:

Monday-Tuesday

After much intense lobbying by the the activists from We Want Our Own Fido (We W.O.O.F), it appears we are about to get a dog. Yes, Tanya and Kayla, charter members of We W.O.O.F, have talked dad, charter member of No! Please, Our Own Pup? (No P.O.O.P) into getting a dog, probably sometime within the next month or so. Thus, I've been doing a lot of reading on dogs, and I discovered there has been much study done on tail wagging. Did you know some studies show a dog who wags his tail on the right...is likely happier than a dog who wags on the left? True. Also true: straight up/tip wagging is a sign of aggression; straight down is a sign of nervousness, straight out is a sign of curiosity, and in the case of our friend's dog Lucy, no wagging at all is a sign she's passed wind. Again. Circular wagging means the dog is unsure of the situation, which, if I had a tail, would be me. But hey, if Hodge can have 17 cats, surely I can handle one dog, right? Right. Even a gassy one.

The Weekend!

I can't decide who I look more like right now: Jimmy Neutron or Ace Ventura. Yes, it's haircut time again! I have what my wife calls "wings" but what I consider more like "tail fins" coming off the side of my head, and regardless of what you call them, one thing is for sure, they have never been incorporated into any hairstyle in the history of mankind. They need to be removed before I either A) take off, or B), get mistaken for a 1959 Coupe de Ville. I used to go to a barbershop in my neighbourhood, but then my guy, Vito the Chainsmoking Barber, retired, and it just didn't feel the same. Kayla tried to get me to go to her haircutter, on the strength of the fact that when you're done, they give you a lollypop. But I found a place just down Yonge from the station that I go to now, where I get my wings/fins removed courtesy of a lady named Tara. She's from Ethiopia, and beside her is a woman from Russia, and to hear them chat back and forth in their own heavily accented English is one of those wonderful Toronto things to behold and enjoy. It beats a lollypop anyday -- just don't tell Kayla that!

Thursday - Friday

It's always an incredible experience when we visit Sick Kids for the Radiothon. So humbling, to be around such strong parents...brave children...brilliant caregivers. If you didn't get a chance to donate today, please do it now...elsewhere on the site you can still help out this great, wonderful place.

And from the bottom of my heart...thanks.

Wednesday-Thursday

Fired up the barbecue for the first time Monday night. I got a new 'Q last year, and I'd just like to thank the person who invented the new igniter-thing. Why didn't anyone else think to power it with a battery?! Genius. The old igniters would stop working after, oh, about 3 days. It would only be the beginning. The schedule of Things That Would Die On Your New BBQ would go roughly as follows:

Day 3: Igniter.

Day 5-6: Lid Thermometer.

Day 7-8: Complete Blackening Of Lid Window.

Barbecues are so much better now, as witnessed by the fact some of them cost more than my car. But as with everything, the bbq is only as good as the stuff you throw on it. Okay that's not true with everything, as the measure of many things doesn't involve the throwing of things at it. But you get what I mean. Hereby then, the World's Greatest BBQ Hamburger Recipe, which I put to good use when I kicked off the Grilling Season on the back porch Monday. This is Mom's recipe, so you know it's good:

Tuesday-Wednesday

Yikes. It's like The End Of The World! Swine flu. Holy. Has CNN branded it yet? "PANDEMIC 2009: THE WORLD IN CRISIS!". I'm sure that's being recorded by their Big Voice Guy as we speak. I think living through SARS here has given us perspective, especially if you have friends and family who live out of town: ours would call all the time, certain our city was turning into a trailer for I Am Legend. Man! The shot of that one person...one...wearing a mask at the Jays game didn't help. In any case, it's never a bad idea to start thinking of ways to stay healthy, which may or may not include how best to, oh I dunno, open a door (see Troy's blog), but just might include what things to eat to ward off disease. Here's a list of some germ-killing foods that, among other things, will give you breath that could kill a rhino.  Oh, and help stave off flu.  It's courtesy of the author of The Miracle of Wild Oregano: honey, vinegar, garlic, onions, sage, oregano, cilantro, radishes, turnips, chilies, herbal tea, and yogurt. These common foods should help keep you healthy. That, and avoiding CNN.  Yeesh!

Tuesday-Wednesday

Yikes. It's like The End Of The World! Swine flu. Holy. Has CNN branded it yet? "PANDEMIC 2009: THE WORLD IN CRISIS!". I'm sure that's being recorded by their Big Voice Guy as we speak. I think living through SARS here has given us perspective, especially if you have friends and family who live out of town: ours would call all the time, certain our city was turning into a trailer for I Am Legend. Man! The shot of that one person...one...wearing a mask at the Jays game didn't help. In any case, it's never a bad idea to start thinking of ways to stay healthy, which may or may not include how best to, oh I dunno, open a door (see Troy's blog), but just might include what things to eat to ward off disease. Here's a list of some germ-killing foods that, among other things, can stave off flu, courtesy of the author of The Miracle of Wild Oregano: honey, vinegar, garlic, onions, sage, oregano, cilantro, radishes, turnips, chilies, herbal tea, and yogurt. These common foods should help keep you healthy. That, and avoiding CNN.

Monday-Tuesday

My lovely wife returned from her Girl's Weekend Sunday relaxed, happy, and over choco-lated. The part of the weekend that wasn't spent consuming chocolate was spent at an outdoor spa, where she told me she experienced a Scandinavian Bath, that consisted of spending time in the hot tub followed immediately by spending time in the ice-water tub, a "detoxifying, revitalizing skin treatment" that to me sounded more like, oh I dunno, "torture". Heck I don't even like going back into the pool after being in a hot tub. My lovely wife said it actually felt great, which may have been the chocolate talking, I'm not sure. I wonder what's next for her: the hungry-fish pedicure, whereby you immerse your feet into tanks teeming with hungry, minnow-sized carp? They chow down while you exfoliate! Win-win. Maybe you could do that while wrapped in seaweed. Keep the maritime theme alive. I'm told that this particular form of Well-Being hasn't hit Toronto yet, but when it does, honey, I promise I'll try to understand.

The Weekend!

With this nice weather, I have to pass along an Important Gardening Tip gleaned from my years working at White Rose Nurseries. Ah, White Rose Nurseries! My first ever job when I was in high school was at the White Rose on the Queensway in Etobicoke, and I learned a lot. For instance, I learned how to fit a 6 cubic-foot bale of peat moss into the trunk of a Toyota. I quickly thereafter learned how to avoid helping customers who arrive in Toyotas. I learned the importance of manure, best illustrated by the fact there were 3 kinds: cow, lamb, and "zoo". Yes, "zoo", and yes, it was called "zoo poo". I also learned people were pretty manure-loyal: if you used sheep, by gum, you would never buy a bag of cow! I also learned that no matter how hard Jeff and I tried, the two very cute twins Lina and Maria still would not go out with us. Hmm. Maybe it was because we were working with manure all day. Yes, but maybe if they had seen us putting that peat moss in the Toyota, things would have been different! I digress. The other thing I learned, from the full-timers who actually had gone to university and stuff, was that as a rule of thumb one should not plant one's annuals until the May long weekend. Temptation may come in the form of, oh I don't know, a Saturday in April that hits 27 degrees, but it must be resisted. Victoria Day weekend. Hold off until then. Just like Lina and Maria held off our advances. It'll be tough. Just ask them!

Thursday-Friday

So I was on the phone with my lovely wife when I saw a Haagen-Dazs truck drive by here at Yonge & St. Clair with it's rear door open.

Me: Honey, oh my, there goes a Haagen-Dazs truck with its rear door open!

She, without missing a beat: I'll be RIGHT there.

This moment opened up a fresh wound, as just the day before, I committed the grave error of Forgetting The Skinny Cow On The Grocery Run. Yes, I honestly, truly forgot. But she is highly suspicious and with reason, because the Skinny Cow, while a quality product, could well be renamed Pricey Cow, as it is probably the most expensive ice cream by volume on Planet Earth, something that got me into trouble a couple of weeks before, when I eyed a similar product on sale and bought it instead.

Wednesday-Thursday

Administrative Professionals Day kind of snuck up on a lot of people I think. Maybe it was lost in the the Earth Day shuffle? I called a friend of mine and asked what he had done for his assistant, Julie. There was a pause. And then a quick, I gotta go. Wha? Before even talking about how I did in the hockey pool last night?! BRENDAN SHANAHAN GOT ME A GOAL! And you MOCKED ME for that pick! It was to no avail. He was gone. Unprecedented. But Julie, today, comes first. I understand. Meanwhile, my sis made out okay. She received a $100 shopping mall gift card. Not only does she get to gaze out the windows of mighty First Canadian Place, she scores the gift card. Not bad! I went on the net to see what other ideas were out there to fete the Admin.Pro. of today. One idea came from the Detroit Free Press. It suggested instead of the typical lunch or flowers...how about...wait for it....springing for additional training or a seminar. Wow. Nothing quite says job well done like Additional Training. Hopefully your boss didn't read that article! And Jeff, I'm calling you back right now. It's about Shanahan.

Tuesday-Wedneday

I was reading over my wife's shoulder yesterday -- she LOVES that!

Her: What are you doing?

Me: Trying to take interest in the things that interest you, my love!

Her: No, you're reading over my shoulder, and stop it immediately.

But I couldn't help it: the article was titled "8 Super Foods Your Body Will Thank You For Eating", and I was astonished it didn't include the usual suspects, cauliflower, broccoli, and all the other things I hate.  No, these were things I actually...LIKE! So, over her shoulder I read, incurring her wrath, and now I will pass them along to you so you don't have to:

Monday-Tuesday

Okay.  So I have a...unique fashion sense best summed up by a 22 year-old pair of Sperry Topsiders.  But check out the uniforms the Washington Nationals baseball team were wearing Sunday.  These guys were the old Montreal Expos.  Seems someone forgot the letter 'O' on their jerseys.  So sure, I may still wear a pair of shoes pushing the quarter-century mark...but at least I'd have the good sense not to put this thing on!

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The Weekend!

I'll be the first to admit I do some...well, odd things. No honey, not like hanging on to a pair of 22 year-old shoes. Those are some fine Sperry Topsiders. Leave them alone! Sigh. My wife. Always with the Topsiders. No, things like count the money after it's come out of the ATM. Number of times I've caught the ATM in a mistake: none. But still, I count. Then there's the milk/egg thing. I always check the date on the milk...but never on the eggs. In fact I check, as a rule, 3 bags of milk to make sure I've got the freshest one. 3 bags. No real idea why 3, but somehow over the years it's become 3. But eggs? I never look at the end of the egg carton for the date. Hmm. Why is that? Who knows. One thing I do know? I love weekends because I can make them. Eggs. Love my Big Breakfasts on the weekends. And then slipping on my comfy, beautiful Topsiders. HA! Said that just for you hon.

Thursday-Friday

Kayla woke up in the middle of the night last night. Bad dream. Somehow, both Swiper the Fox and Ursula the Sea Witch snuck their way into her slumber. Rotten Swiper! You are hereby banned from bath. Only Dora, Boots, and Diego will be welcome from here on in. You, and that tree you're hiding in?  You're staying in the basket, stinky.   And you, Ursula? Didn't the Little Mermaid's Prince Eric make calamari out of you? I think he did! So boo hiss on you. Stay away from my girl both of you, or I may have to take truly drastic action. Yes. That's right. Off to the Goodwill's dvd section you'll go! It wouldn't be the first time either. Oh yes. Ask the Witch Queen from Snow White. She'll tell you: I'm not bluffing!

Wednesday-Thursday

I think I'm seriously starting to like Brian Burke. The Leafs' GM. He means business. I don't think I'd want him for a boss. But I do think I want him to be in charge of my hockey team. Let's be honest: it's been tough being a Leaf fan. Yes, there have been a couple of bright spots in the recent past: The Pat Quinn years were pretty good...ditto the Pat Burns era. But there are only so many Pats. We were bound to run out. The non-Pat years can best be summed up by the time I was at a game, and during a break the Hockey Song came on, and when play resumed and it was turned off, people booed. That's right. We wanted more Hockey Song. Less hockey. Sad. But I feel now that Mr. Burke is here, things are different. And...his middle initial is P. Hmm. Happy days may be here again!

Tuesday-Wednesday

You can tell a lot about a person from their microwave. More specifically the inside of their microwave. Eee. You know what I mean. But let's be honest: even the neatest and tidiest of us slip up. Yes, you intended to clean up that spill/smudge/unfortunate time you didn't put a cover on the pork and beans, but just didn't get around to it. I mean, it's behind closed doors, well, door, right? It is, until the last person on earth you'd want to open it opens it, because that's the way life works. My life anyway. So I came across a spring cleaning tip that'll have your microwave looking as clean as the day you bought it. And smelling pretty good too! Fill a glass measuring cup half with water and half with vinegar. Nuke on high for about 6 minutes. When it dings, let it sit in there for about 10 more minutes: the steam will help loosen the grime. Then remove, wipe down, and viola! Good as new. And no more burned-popcorn smell either. You can use lemon juice instead of vinegar for an even nicer, fresher scent apparently. There. Now all you have to do is remember to put a cover on those beans, and all will be well.

Monday-Tuesday

P. Cottontail

V.P., Confectionery

1 Bunny Trail,

Easter Island

Dear Mr. Cottontail,

Thanks so much for stopping by our house this weekend. Kayla was thrilled to find all those eggs, and I must say, tucking a couple into her slippers was a stroke of genius! You also avoided going too deep under the sofa, which is good, as we forgot to Swiffer. Much appreciated. However, I have to express disappointment at the fact there was no chocolate bunny. I understand this was a directive from my wife, who thought an Easter basket full of small toys would be a better idea. Perhaps, seeing as Kayla is tiny and if she were to eat a regular-sized bunny in one sitting, she would pretty much be eating her weight in chocolate. But to my mind it's just not Easter without a chocolate bunny, so next year, please disregard my wife's concern, and bring on that sweet, molded hare-shaped cocoa creation and worry not that it will mean chocolate overload for Kayla. I'll take care of that by eating some. Lots, probably.

The Long Weekend!

In case you hadn't figured it out, I'm easily confused. So when I tell you what happened to me at the car wash yesterday, you'll either A) laugh; B) roll your eyes; or C) go, hey Darryl, thanks for the heads-up! If you pick B, good chance you're my wife. I digress. So Wednesday I'm filling up at the PetroCan across from Buttonville Airport, and I decide to get a wash. Out comes the receipt...and there's no code on it. You know? The code you punch in when you get to the start of the car wash?! None. No code. So I waited. Maybe another receipt with the code would appear? Come out of the woods Bambi. There's no other receipt coming. AHH! What if I get to the start of the wash, with no code, and a line of cars forms behind me?! I can hear it now: That guy drove up...without a code?! What, is he from Planet Stupid?! Luckily, it was a slow day. No other cars in sight. So I drove up. And sure enough, they've replaced the code-entering keypad...with a scanner. And sure enough, there was a barcode on the receipt. Where the numbers used to be. You know, the ones that for the last hundred years we punched in to get a car wash! A little heads-up would have been nice, car wash people. Kind of like when the ATMs switched from envelopes you lick, to the self-adhesive ones. No warning! That threw me for a loop, let me tell you. Honey, stop rolling your eyes.

Wednesday-Thursday

Happy Easter Egg painting!  I have to tell you:  I have seen the World's Largest Easter Egg. And it was good. I was visiting a Ryerson friend some years ago who was from the town of Vegreville, Alberta, which is the proud home of said egg. Now, just so you know, being primarily a Ukrainian town it's known as the World's Largest Pysanka. No matter. This is one impressive egg. Wawa, keep your goose! Sudbury, enjoy that nickel! Vegreville has a painted easter egg the size of a 737 on a tall pole that rotates with the wind. That's right. Rotates. With the wind!  Awesome. Check it out sometime! And if you're there, tell the Toronchuks I say hi. 

Tuesday-Wednesday

Okay. Company's coming. Everything's perfect. Then you realize...AHH! Forgot to put the wine or the beer in the fridge! What to do? Well if one of your guests is our friend Celeste, you can relax, because for some odd reason she enjoys adding ice cubes to her glass of white wine, which I believe in France results in a 30-day jail sentence. No, you need to get those bottles cold FAST. Here's the solution: put them in a bucket. Fill halfway with ice; top up with water. Then...and here's the part I can't explain because I probably wasn't paying attention in physics class...add a handful of salt! That's right. A handful of salt. It helps the temperature drop faster. Really! In the first ten minutes, everything will be 10 degrees colder. It beats adding ice cubes to that glass of sauvignon blanc. That's just wrong! Celeste.....put down that corkscrew. But yes. Just add salt. Gets it cold fast. Somewhere, Mr. Haslett probably knows why.

Monday-Tuesday

I won't bore you with any of the details of our fantasy baseball draft Saturday. However I will bore you with the fact that I spent a good part of the weekend trying to open a cd. Why do they still wrap them in plastic like that? Wasn't this a Billy Crystal joke at the Grammys about 20 years ago?! And it's still happening? They do want us to open them, don't they?! Packaging. Argh. A buddy of mine recently bought one of those cool cutter-tools you see advertised on t.v. to safely open that hard, sharp plastic. Great, except it was packaged in that hard, sharp plastic! Crazy. I just read that over 6,000 North Americans wound up in the emergency room last year with injuries resulting from trying to open packages. 6,000! So, Packaging People, we beg you. Stop The Violence. Make stuff easier to get at. Or else we'll all come after you with cutter-tools. If we can get them open.

The Weekend!

This weekend is draft day in my fantasy baseball league. Just as well Tanya is out of town. She just does not understand the importance of this day! I try to explain to her the gut-wrenching decision to not protect Cole Hamels. You know.  Because he may be hurt. She looks at me like I have two heads! Can you believe that?! I tell her we traded for Hanley Ramirez late last year so we could have him, and his 4-category awesomeness, this year. Again, two heads. What do I get when I ask her if she thinks we should take a stopper in the first round this year?  Two heads. Sigh. But then again, I'm pretty sure that's the look I give her whenever I get the Lipstick Jungle update. I guess it all evens out in the end!

Thursday-Friday

$9 billion for public transit?! Woo-hoo! Bring it on! Yay!

Ahem. Yes, it's true. I'm a bit of a transit geek. Whenever I travel to another city, one of the first things I want to do is ride the subway. That, and read their paper. I love subways. I think it came out of living in places without one. After growing up in Toronto, I moved out to Brandon, Manitoba, where the only thing running underground are gophers. Lots and lots of gophers. Then it was on to St. Catharines, where subway is a place to get a sandwich. I enjoyed my time in both places, but I really missed, believe it or not, skipping across town on a subway. When I moved to Montreal, I was thrilled. Shiny blue cars on rubber wheels! A subway! Okay, the rubber wheels were a little different. Essentially, a bus in a tunnel. But I didn't care! It's how I feel about this Eglinton plan: basically, a streetcar that goes underground. A sub part-of-the way. No problem. Boston's is kind of like that. And I admit I have a bit of a I'll-believe-it-when-I-see-it attitude towards it all, thanks to the Magical Misery Tour that has become my St. Clair West commute (latest completion date: the 12th of Never!) but today, I'm excited. Start digging, people. Just like those gophers.

Wednesday-Thursday

It's great having a Montreal Canadiens fan as a boss. GREAT! Yes, Wednesday was my birthday. Here's the damage: The cake said "Happy Birthday Darryl! Love, Montreal Canadiens". On top of the cake? A mini Montreal Canadiens Stanley Cup. The card? A photoshop of my face...on the body of a Montreal Canadiens player. Inside the card? "Hab A Habby Birthday".

Yes, it's truly great having a Montreal Canadiens fan for a boss! I'm going to go cry now.

Tuesday-Wednesday

It's April Fool's Day! Or, as I learned when I lived in Montreal, April Fish Day! That's right. April Fish Day. "People tape paper cut-outs of fish on your back on you walk around with them, unknowing!" my French Canadian girlfriend at the time told me, confirming my suspicions that yes, there were some weird things going on here (first clue: coleslaw on hotdogs. Which I came to like a lot, actually. Paper fish-taping? Not so much. Oh, to be a distinct society!) When I was young, my sister got me about 4 years running with the same April Fool's prank.

She, standing by living room window: Look! Fire engine!

Monday-Tuesday

Somewhere in Toronto, there is a young man who is a master of the Rubik's Cube. A master. Maybe you will see him one day. I did, Friday afternoon, on the Sheppard subway. It was incredible. I couldn't believe it. That I wasn't alone on the Sheppard subway. Kidding. He was incredible. This guy was Rubik's Cube-ing like some kind of Mensa genius! Whirling it around at super-fast speed, like it was all happening in fast-foward. And get this: in about 4 subway-stops time, he solved it....twice! In that same amount of time, I wouldn't even have one side done. Heck who am I kidding: one line done! In 4 subway stops he achieved something I never have in my entire life...twice. That felt good. Anyhow, his stop came, and he popped it in his pocket, and headed out the doors, to a future as a nuclear physicist, or neurosurgeon, or disc jockey. Hey, it's not as easy as it looks.

The Weekend!

I heard the siren song of better weather yesterday...that sweet refrain that heralds the end of the cold...the angelic melody of oh enough sorry about that. Yesterday...I heard the song...of the Ice Cream Man! I was at the light at Davenport and Osler in the west end when I thought...is that?...no....could it be the....oh no way...but wait...let me roll down the window...and yes! Oh yes way! It was the Ice Cream Man Song! He was coming down Osler in all his white-ice-cream-truck glory. If I hadn't been in a bit of a hurry I would have stopped for a cone, with sprinkles. This is a good sign. This is a sign that maybe it's over, the Long Cold Lonely Winter, and that no, we will not be getting that last big dumping of ow-snay, pig latin to prevent the Henry Whammy, and that Spring really is here. To stay. And if that's true, Mother Nature, the soft-serve is on me. Sprinkles?

Thursday-Friday

Tanya and Kayla are in Vancouver now. They flew out last night from Pearson, without incident. And that's a relief. There's always the very real possibility of incident when we travel. Because of...lip balm. Yes, I know. Lip balm, Darryl? Yes. Lip balm. See, our little peanut loves lip balm, I guess because we use it all the time, and it's like make-up to her, and as it turns out, 'lip balm' became one of the first words she came to use on an everyday basis. Well, sort of. She's shortened it. To just..."balm". Yes. "Balm". As in, Dad, do you have balm?! Which is probably not the best thing to say when in line at airport security. Yikes! So Tan and I are always aware we're one request for lip balm away from an airport lockdown whenever we travel. Now, I'm sure you're saying Darryl, come on! Like they're going to crack down on a three-year-old! Well, you never know. I mean, we weren't expecting her Baby Alive to have to go through a thorough body-cavity-search last Fall either, but she did. That was interesting, being pulled aside at security because of a doll. So I guess anything goes. Even a 3 year old requesting balm!

Wednesday-Thursday

Note to self: pick up bar soap on your way home because there wasn't any in the linen closet this morning and I don't want to have to go into the shower after hockey again with "Jardin du Monde" Bath and Shower Gel by Yves Rocher who if he had been a great Flying Frenchman hockey hero would have been okay but seeing as he's not it was potentially kind of embarrassing, although I must say, dang! I'm smelling good today!

Ahem. Self, pick up soap.The manlier the better. Just in case anyone saw.

Tuesday-Wednesday

I have a confession to make: it hurts, but they say this is how to begin the healing. Thrust it into the light! Lay bare your soul! The truth will set you free! Okay here we go:

My entire life, I thought Bambi was a girl.

There. I said it!  And I feel... stupid. Not that free, really. No, it's more of stupid feeling. Anyhow, It's true. I thought Bambi was a she! I mean...Bambi? That's not a guy's name! Thumper? Sure. But...Bambi? I was corrected by a 3 year-old yesterday, as we watched a little of the movie together. Bambi had just been born, and I said, Is that his mom? And she said Dad, Bambi's not a he! He's a boy! Silly daddy. And I said, Where's your mother? Mother came downstairs and confirmed what the 3 year old had said was in fact true, then quickly went back upstairs, because the Scary Part where Bambi loses his mom was coming up. And I learned two things in that moment: 1) Never doubt The Child, especially in all things animated; and 2), My wife, an otherwise well-adjusted 30-something, has to leave the room during the Scary Part. Of Bambi. Which is almost as bad as thinking Bambi was a girl. C'mon! Isn't it?!

Monday-Tuesday

We did the Sugarbush on the weekend, and I've got the sore back to prove it. What's that you say? Darryl, what does having a sore back have to do with visiting the sugarbush?! Did you try to take off with one of those large black kettles full of boiled-down syrup? You did, didn't you?!! No. No, I didn't. But you're right, it did cross my mind. MAN I love maple syrup! No, the back was the result of Kayla's fascination with one thing and one thing only when we got there: she just had to check each and every bucket to see how much stuff was inside. Every one. It went kind of like this:

The Weekend!

A few odds and ends, as we enjoy the first weekend of Spring...

A friend of mine has messy co-workers. Every day they leave behind coffee cups, sugar packets, that kind of thing. One day this week, as she cleaned up because hey someone has to, right?, she thought why not. And rolled up one of the rims. And won a $100 Tim's gift card! Ha! Don't you love karma?!  Yay karma!!

Saw Spring Awakening this week, over at the Canon Theatre. This musical was the toast of Broadway a couple years back, winning a bunch of Tonys. It's...different. Think...Really Dirty Dancing. Great songs, a very talented cast of young actors with exceptional voices and some with exceptionally funky hair, and an interesting story that's a little odd and at times depressing. A good night out. Although I'm glad I didn't take mom.

Thursday-Friday

Every year around this time I go a little crazy. I go a little crazy because of all the litter in our city, left behind from winter. I don't know exactly when this happened, litter driving me bonkers, but ask anyone close to me:  I've become the Indian chief in that t.v. commercial from the '70s. You know, the one with the tear running down his cheek? That's me now. Thankfully, my lovely, shopaholic (being negative! Stop!) um sorry honey, recession-fighting (that's better dear.) wife feels my pain, and, don't laugh, calls me whenever she sees a city crew picking up the debris. As they were along the Allen late last week, and by the 401 East on-ramp at Yonge this week. This is to reassure me something is in fact being done, because every year at this time, I feel like my city is looking more and more like 8 Mile. Which leads me to my drive down Bathurst yesterday. North of Steeles? Fine. South of Steeles? A tear. A TEAR, CITY OF TORONTO! SLOWLY ROLLING DOWN MY CHEEK!  Send a crew. Please.

Wednesday-Thursday

I'm not quite sure what's gotten into my wife, but in the last 10 days or so she has single-handedly tried to pull the economy out of recession. Here is a short list of some of the purchases:

6 pillows

3 sets of sheets

Elmo clock

Assorted clothes and shoes for Kayla

Assorted clothes and shoes for Mommy
Dispenser for bottled water

2 wall sconces

Easel

Portable microphone

"Ele-fun" butterfly-catching game

Monday-Tuesday

There are two things in life that require in inhuman amount of patience: making maple syrup, and waiting for the Leafs to win a Cup. One requires a Miracle Of Nature; the other involves tree sap.

HA! I kill me. Anyhow, Tuesday I'm doing the show from the sugarbush, Bruce's Mill Conservation Centre in Stouffville. I'd have to say the sugarbush was my all-time favourite field trip when I was a kid, narrowly beating out Black Creek Pioneer Village (loved the blacksmith. I wanted to be one) and the Royal Winter Fair (loved the butter sculpture. I wanted to do one). I still get a kick out of seeing all those silver pails hanging from the trees, and marvel at the fact that that goo can turn into something so incredibly delicious. But boy, it's a slow, slow process. Not as slow as the rebuilding of The Leafs mind you, but still pretty darn slow. It takes about 40 litres of tree goo to make one litre of the good stuff, and all that boiling down takes time. But in the end it's worth it, as the finished product is as good, and pure, as it gets. There's nothing added to pure maple syrup. Nothing! There's only one ingredient, and that's sap. 100% sap. Which coincidentally is how all of my Montreal and Vancouver friends describe me when talk of the Leafs comes up. Oh, the curse of being so patient...!

The Weekend!

So Friday was no ordinary Friday. Oh no. It was a Kiki-Mommy Fun Day! Yay! Kiki, as you know, is Kayla's own nickname for herself, and every once in awhile, mom takes her on a day of...well, fun! Friday they were at Woodbine Centre riding the rides, and I got e-mailed a camera-phone picture of Kiki in the bumper boats, wearing her life jacket like Dora so She Could Be Safe. Tanya then called to say that at the wishing well, Kayla dropped in a coin and wished...that daddy could be here with us right now. Oh MAN! Boss, can we make it a Kiki-Mommy-DADDY Fun Day? What's that? Wait a sec, are you swearing at me in french? Oh gosh nevermind. Oh well. Daddy has bike, Dora helmet so She Can Be Safe, and a sunny day -- it'll soon be a Kiki-Daddy Fun Afternoon. Yay!

Thursday-Friday

WARNING: YOU SHOULD BE SITTING DOWN BEFORE READING THE FOLLOWING.

I don't mind doing housework.

SEE. AREN'T YOU GLAD I TOLD YOU? NOW CARRY ON.

REGARDS,

THE WARNING.

Yes, it's true. I don't mind doing housework! I know: w-e-i-r-d weird. Everytime someone asks why, I try to explain it away as a labour of love. You know, where there was once dust, there is now clean! Where there was chaos, now order! A labour of love, I say! And everytime, they'd look at me like I had two heads. But to be honest, I think it's beyond my control: I think it's in my DNA. A fleck on my mom's carpet had a shorter lifespan than a piece of litter at Disneyland, and honest to pete, you could have performed surgery on my Gram's kitchen floor. Even well into her 90s she would get down on her hands and knees and wash it everyday. Everyday! So maybe it's just part of who I am. Then there's my wife. She dreads housework so much she just bought a pair of slippers...with soles that look like mopheads. Yes. Swiff-lippers I guess you could call them. Clean as you walk! What could be easier?! I don't know, but I know one thing: Gram would not approve.

Tuesday - Wednesday

Monday-Tuesday

Barbie is 50. 50! Looking fine and as anatomically impossible as ever, the Barbie doll, named after the inventor's daughter Barbara, hits the big 5-0 today. That makes her a few years older than beau Ken, and way older than my favourite, Billy Blastoff, who I don't think made it past 7 or 8. I always know how to pick a winner. Anyhow, Mattel claims a billion Barbies have been sold since 1959, a number that is sure to double now that Kayla has a Barbie House. Man, being the first and only child, grandchild, niece, etc. is some kind of sweet deal, you know?!

The Weekend!

I can say with a fair degree of certainty that there was no person on Earth who looked more forward to the weekend we moved the clocks forward than I. And this is because once, a thousand years ago, I was the all-night guy at a rock station in St. Catharines, and springing forward meant knocking an hour off a 7 hour shift, which may not sound like a long time, but honestly 7 hours straight without a break when everybody else is sleeping except for the heavily intoxicated and the crazy all of whom loved to call the all-night guy on the radio, could at times feel quite long. There was a reason the all-night guy would often put on the longest songs ever recorded (thank you, Genesis! Thank you, Yes! Thank you, Rush!), and it wasn't because Supper's Ready or Close to the Edge or Hemispheres were their favourite songs (sorry, Genesis! Sorry, Yes! Sorry, Rush!), oh no. It was to escape. For me, to the station's basement, where there was a pinball machine. To this day, I thank the radio gods that I never once had a record lock a groove, because I was down there A LOT. Don't tell the boss. Please. He would be the same boss, speaking of changing clocks, who wasn't really that impressed when I tried to charge him an hour of overtime when we moved the clocks back. No, not impressed. Homicidal would be more like it. And come to think of it, I probably didn't deserve any extra dough. If I recall, I played all three of those Rock Epics that night!

Thursday-Friday

I was in the express line at the supermarket at Royal York & The Queensway yesterday. There was an elderly man in front of me, and when the cashier said "That'll be 17.10", without missing a beat, he answered "Oh! The year I was born!"

Made me laugh. I hope I'm that quick when I'm that age. Heck, I'd like to be that quick at this age! It's not often you enjoy an honest-to-goodness laugh in the checkout line at the grocery. Or smile even. I remember a couple of years ago I was checking out, and my order came to exactly $40.00. Exactly!! Kind of cool, right? Apparently not. When I said to the cashier, "Wow, 40 dollars right on the nose! Neat huh?!" she looked at me like I was possibly the biggest moron she had ever met in her life. So thank you quick-witted elderly man. It was nice, that unexpected laugh. And I hope you don't mind if I borrow your line when I'm older too.

Wednesday-Thursday

Darryl's blog is not available today as it was traded at the deadline for a package of medium Post-It Notes, a box of fold-back binder clips, 2 steno pads, and a yellow highlighter. Many in the know feel the trade was incredibly one-sided, with the other party overpaying by a least one steno pad, and the highlighter. "I can't believe somebody gave up that much for Henry", commented one observer, who added it clearly wasn't a salary-cap move: "C'mon -- this is Darryl Henry we're talking about!"

Tuesday-Wednesday

I think all of us who drive the highways of this metropolis had to shake our collective heads yesterday -- surprised, but not really -- when we heard that someone had been clocked doing 250 k/hr on the 400 near the 401. Two hundred and fifty kilometres an hour. 250!! Insane. To give you an idea of how completely insane that is, a couple of examples: 250 kilometers an hour is about 110k/hr less...less...than Indy cars used to hit along the Lakeshore straightaway portion of the Molson Indy. That's right. The fastest those cars got was about 140k/hr. This guy would have blown their doors off! If Indy cars had doors, mind you. Okay. Now try this one on for size: 250k/hr is about the speed a Boeing 737 at takeoff. Right. That car was going to same speed as passenger jet when it's taking off! Holy cow. So the guy's going to get fined, maybe jailed, and have his licence suspended (hopefully for a very long time). But I tell you: what I wouldn't do to be there when he opens his insurance renewal. THAT will be good!

Monday-Tuesday

We took Kayla skating for the first time Sunday, and the waterworks were so intense I thought the Zamboni would get jealous. But suddenly what was looking to be the Shortest Skate Rental in Nathan Phillips Square History turned...happy! Eager, even! Lesson learned: never, EVER, underestimate the power of the bribe. Oh yeah. In this case, a hot chocolate if she tried to go on the ice with dad one more time. She did, and with dad hunched over, hands under her arms, propping while pushing, ever reminding to keep those feet straight, we did several laps before said dad's back began to bark like a dog, which if unaddressed would have resulted in waterworks again. By Dad. A few more laps and we were red-rosy- cheek-ready for our hot chocolate, but NOT ready for this: this, this injustice: we discovered none of the chip-truck guys sold any! NO HOT CHOCOLATE! A travesty! This breach of Canadian Winter Tradition must be rectified. We had to have something warming, so we had...fries. FRIES! Right this wrong, I implore you! But in the meantime, don't go changing the chips. I must say, they were pretty tasty!

The Weekend!

I had a late hockey game Thursday. 11pm. 11pm! Oh, the things we Elite Athletes will do for our sport. Anyhow, too tired to haul my hockey bag into the basement, I left it on the front porch. And I'd just like to say to the cat who must have come by in the middle of the night to, um, make its mark, congratulations. You just achieved the impossible: you have made a hockey bag even less pleasing to the nose! Yes! Even smellier! A HOCKEY BAG! Incredible. I didn't think it could be done. But you did it, and that's why this morning I was hanging my gear out on the line, in the pouring rain, like a crazyperson, hoping to wash out your, um, olfactorial signature. Nothing personal. Now. Let's talk about my teammate Jim's hockeybag. You might have your work cut out for you there. Go ahead and spray his. If you dare!!

Thursday-Friday

We met with Larry, our financial planner/RRSP guy Tuesday. I had to move a dentist appointment in order to go, and I wondered, hmm, which will hurt more? After an hour with Larry, it was clear. Larry wins! Yay! What floor are we on again Larry? The 48th? Yay! How thick is that glass? Not that thick? Double Yay! Lookout below!

Okay, it wasn't that bad, but still, I can say with confidence, the dentist's appointment will in fact hurt less, and I need a filling drilled out. Ho-ly.  But our pain is nothing compared to what poor Larry is going through. He's wearing his Blackberry out, constantly checking the Dow and TSX numbers....getting up in the middle of the night to check the Asian Nikkei numbers...calling building maintenance to check the glass-thicknesss numbers....it's crazy. I feel for the guy. But his advice is always good, and it was no different this time. Stay the course. And let me add...don't even think about opening the monthly statements. In this case, not only is ignorance bliss, it might save you from a nasty fall!

Wednesday-Thursday

Last night was Pancake Tuesday. Tonight, I sure hope it's not Hotdog Wednesday. Yikes! Shopsy's Deli Fresh All Beef Frankfurters and Maple Leaf Original Hot Dogs are the culprits, so make a note and check the meat drawer when you get home. By the way, I did it. I candied the pecans last night. I KNEW I shouldn't have posted that recipe! I couldn't get it out of my head. So I succumbed. And it was beyond good. It looks like candied-pecan pancakes will be on the weekend Big Breakfast menu TFN. I'm in big trouble now!

Tuesday-Wednesday

Ahh, Pancake Tuesday. How, as a young boy, I loved Pancake Tuesday! Nevermind. How, as a full-grown adult, do I love Pancake Tuesday! Yum. Pancakes, in all their syrupy, fluffy deliciousness. With pecans. Oh yes. Pecans. Toss a few in your batter tonight, trust me. First had pecan pancakes at a Cracker Barrel restaurant in the States a few years back. Good eats, the Cracker Barrel. Mmmm. In fact the chicken & dumplings have me contemplating driving over the border right now. Oh, those little pillows of chewy dumpling goodness...!

Ahem. Sorry. Back to the pancakes. I can't make them without pecans now, and one day, when I'm ready, I'll try them with candied pecans, which I haven't done yet, because I fear then there may be no turning back. Same reason I've never owned a video game system. I'd never leave the house. Candied pecans in my pancakes? Whoa. Hello Fat Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. And Fat Darryl. Below, I've included a recipe for candied pecans. Attempt if you dare! And Happy Shrove Tuesday.

Monday-Tuesday

The Oscar get-together was a great success, despite the fact that my lovely wife bailed on the Best Picture themed-menu. Probably just as well. We ordered sushi -- "we'll call them Revolutionary Rolls!" she exclaimed, still grasping ever so desperately, okay, let's be honest, lamely, at the Oscar theme. Oh well. At least we ate well. To make up for the fact Revolutionary Road was in the running for a grand total of zero of the Big Oscars, she also laid out a Slumdog Dill-ionaire dill-based veggie dip, some Milk-duds, Frost-ed Nixon nuts (beer nuts to a normal, sane person) and marinated Benjamin Button-mushrooms. There was nothing for the Reader, although not for want of trying. All weekend long, the poor thing could be seen pacing around the house, saying things like "Is there a wine that has something to do with reading?", making me wonder if she had gone Frosted-Nixon nuts. And as though to add insult to injury, she came in second, by one, in the Oscar pool. Hey. At least she can drown her sorrows in some Milk-duds -- we've got leftovers!

The Weekend!

My lovely wife is having people over for the Oscars, and wants to do a Best-Picture theme menu. Here's what we've got so far: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button-Mushroom pasta salad. I had suggested The Curious Case of Benjamin Mutton, but that was met with The Cold Stare of Stop Annoying Me. Next, Hotdog Millionaire. Hotdogs, but quality ones, fit for a MILLIN-AIRE! as the game show guy in the movie says. I had suggested Slumdog Millionaires Sardines, playing on the only brand of sardines I've ever heard of, and this was again met with The Stare. Next, we got to Milk. Finally, an easy one. Me: Hey! We can just serve...MILK! She: Silence. And The Stare. So, we settled on Milk-shakes, strawberry, so they'd be pink. Fitting. We're still working on the other two. I'm trying to make "De-Frost-(something)-And Nixon" work, but so far nothing. Except The Stare.

Thursday-Friday

My wife called yesterday. She called, and inhaled. That was it. It went something like this:

Me: Hello? Her: HONEY! *sound of someone inhaling*. Me: Hey! GREAT, LOVE! Her: Yayyyyyyy!!

Yes, it's been literally weeks since she has had use of both of her nostrils, which made yesterday a cause for celebration. Just me, or has this winter been The Winter The Cold Wouldn't Die? And if it is, would Darren McGavin star in the tv movie version? Tonight...A Very Special Kolchak The Night Stalker...The Cold That Wouldn't Die!! Dun dun dunnn!!

Wednesday-Thursday

Hmm. General Motors must be in really, REALLY bad shape. Like my '74-Impala-bad-shape. Actually, I take that back. My old Chevy at least still had a great engine. But I digress. What makes me think GM is in truly dire straits is, despite that mind-boggling infusion of cash...they still have to let go tons of people? All those people? They're going to be down to the CEO, Mr. Goodwrench, and Tiger Woods. Oh wait, he's gone. Nevermind. Still, they're going to be a shell of their former selves.  They're going to have to change their name.  From General Motors to Private Motors. Not even Private, First Class Motors. The General is no longer. Like my '74 Impala. Both will be sadly missed.

Tuesday-Wednesday

We spent Family Day...with family. Go figure! We drove out to see my cousin Corrine in Bowmanville, merrily dodging potholes on the 401 along the way (okay, merrily only because it was a holiday. If I had to do that everyday to and from work....oh my gosh I'd lose my mind!), took the first exit to B-town, I don't think people call it B-town, I just made that up, and headed north, as they're in the country a little bit. Okay, more than a little bit. They're so far into the boonies we passed a farm that has a tractor on a pole lit up as a Christmas decoration. A tractor. Anyhow, on our way up, we passed that ultimate Canadian scene, so incredibly Canadian it's on the back of our $5 bill, the wonderful sight...of kids playing pond hockey. Love that. Pond Hockey. That is Bobby Orr beautiful. Probably passed 4 or 5 different pond hockey games Monday, and each time I thought, nice to know not all kids' hands are fused to a Playstation. That, and darn.  I wish I had my skates in the trunk!

The Weekend!

Once again, on this Valentines, I owe a pretty big debt of gratitude to Donald Sutherland. And an ostrich. Allow me to explain.

I remember well the first time I met Tanya. It was at the Canadian Music Week radio convention of all things, at the Harbour Castle 9 years ago. She was talking to a colleague of mine, and attracted, I went over to open up the taps to let the Henry Charm flow . Oh YEAH! Mr. Charming introduced himself, chatted a bit, then, forgetting her name, asked her, and I quote because colossally stupid moments like this somehow have a way of searing themselves into our brain, "I'm sorry...was it Angie, or Angela?" She looked at me with this huge smile, the kind you get when you think, I've just met the biggest goofball in this place! Cool! And answered, "No, it's Tanya." Pfffffft. Wind out of sails. But, being an Aries, I didn't give up, and later that day asked her out. Luckily, I had great theatre tickets, (Donald Sutherland at the Royal Alex! Not bad, huh?) or else I was probably looking at a big swing-and-a-miss. Then came the clincher: at dinner at Grappa on College, I ordered the ostrich carpaccio. This scored points. "Proved you were keen on trying interesting things!" Tanya would go on to say later. Hey, whatever! I'll take it. And now the rest is history. Like that ostrich. Which was actually quite tasty, by the way.

Thursday-Friday

Saw The Colour Purple last night at The Canon, and I have to say, it was great. Full disclosure: I had seen the movie when it first came out, and was bored to death. I know I know, unbelievable!  Darryl! Are you kidding? Oh no, I'm serious, but remember, and this is important: I'm from Mars. Anyhow, the story has been turned into a musical, and holy cow, each and every song, I swear, is a hit. And nevermind: the people singing them are out of this world too! It's probably the finest collection of voices on the same stage I've ever seen in all my years of going to the theatre. They're that good. The story hasn't changed from the move...at least the parts I was awake for (Mars!) and the music really brings it all to life. It got a perfect 4-star review in the Star today. Impressive. And warranted. It's only here 'till mid-March and tickets are at mirvish.com! And speaking of that family name, good on you David Mirvish: in the great spirit of his dad, he'll be handing out free tickets to Dirty Dancing in honour of Valentine's at Honest Ed's Friday and Saturday at 3pm. 1,000 free tickets! Somewhere, Honest Ed is smiling. Just as I'm sure he was last night at premiere of his son's latest production.

Wednesday-Thursday

Mayor David Miller

City Hall

Toronto, On.

Dear Mr. Mayor:

I'm just wondering if you could take some of the cash from the property tax increase and put it towards the largest Steam-Shark money can buy. Our city is in dire need of a good scrubbing, and I've heard those Steam-Sharks do a bang-up job. If you're going to pick it up at Canadian Tire, I've got some funny money you can have.

Warmest Regards,

Tuesday-Wednesday

I am proud to say this space has never taken blog-enhancing drugs of any kind. Except for that chocolate I had around Christmas that had booze in it. Honestly, I don't know how these guys put this stuff into their bodies, knowing how it can do weird things to you, and never mind, knowing also it may involve needles. But they do, and they continue to get caught and go on t.v. with long faces and feel shame, unless your name is Roger Clemens. Your nickname becomes the punchline to a joke (A-Rod: now A-Roid or A-Fraud, take your pick) and it's never the same afterwards. But I discovered a long time ago the lengths to which athletes will try to gain an edge: it was a guy I worked with during my summer job as a meter-reader with Etobicoke Hydro. It was the early 1980s. This fellow, nice guy, was on the swim team of an Ontario university, and told me he blood-doped. He would have a pint or so of blood taken out of his body, then later towards a meet, have it re-injected so as to give him more blood, that in turn would send more oxygen to his muscles.

Monday-Tuesday

We saw Milk on the weekend, one of the best picture nominees. I really enjoyed it; but my wife, not as much, and for 2 distinct and different reasons. 1: she thought Sean Penn's character reminded her too much of his character in I Am Sam. I'm not kidding. Not having seen I Am Sam, I can't confirm that this is crazy, but knowing what I Am Sam is about, I'm pretty sure it is. And 2, my wife is completely and totally in love with Slumdog Millionaire. Milk could have been the second coming of Citizen Kane, and it wouldn't have mattered. I've never seen her like this: her heart belongs to Slumdog Millionaire! Now, next up is Frost/Nixon, which should do better than Milk in her estimation if only because there is no I Am Sam connection. But I'm pretty sure it will still pale in comparison. What can I say. The woman's in love!

The Weekend!

Some odds and ends for a Friday...

* The Zamboni driver crashed into the boards last night at the Powerade Centre in Brampton, wrecking them, forcing the cancellation of our game. We were waiting by the glass, ready to go on, and WHAM! Just so you know Zamboni guy, the First Rule Of Hockey is keep your head up. Learn it, live it, love it.

* 129,000? That's the population of Barrie. That's like everybody, all the souls in Barrie, lost their job in January. Scary.

* Tanya and Kayla saw Coraline at our premiere Thursday. Tanya thought it was a great movie, but it was a bit much for Kiki, not scary-wise but confusing-wise. She must have said 'HUH?' a dozen times, Tan said. And of course, always during the quiet parts.

Thursday-Friday

I don't know what the freezing point of butter is, but I'm pretty sure our cupboard has reached it. But hallelujah: Saturday, THE BUTTER WILL BE SOFT! No more hacking a piece of bread to death trying to butter it! I looked up on-line butter's freezing point; apparently there are two, because of the salt. The first, it's kind of a mushy-frozen, like salt water gets. This means our butter has reached the second, colder freezing point. That's right. No mush happening that dish. That's a square yellow hockey puck we're talking about. I know, I could microwave it, but one second too long, and blech! Butter soup! I know, I've done it. Up at the cottage. My sister still bugs me about it. And yes, margarine would solve the problem, but we made a decision awhile ago to try and eat real, and besides, we don't use a lot of the stuff. So add butter to the list of ears, nose, toes, car windshield, I could on, of reasons why I'm happy this Stupid Cold is taking a break. Good gosh if I wanted Stupid Cold I never would have moved away from Brandon, where we were on a first-name-basis with the CAA guy. Soft Butter. Bring it on!

Wednesday-Thursday

Finally got to see a Best Picture nominee yesterday. Slumdog Millionaire. We had heard so much about this movie, all good, that it was the first Best Picture on our list. So Tan and I trundled off to the Silvercity Yonge & Egg yesterday afternoon, got our popcorn and pop (she got a kiddie's combo. On a diet, you see. Yep, that's what I said too.) and enjoyed a very interesting, well-made, entertaining and enlightening movie. It's not just about someone who goes on a gameshow, oh no. In fact, it could come with the warning, "Warning: Contains Scenes Of Violence, And One Of A Young Boy Diving Into The Holding Tank Of An Outhouse. Voluntarily, Mind You. And It Does End Up Working Out Well For The Lad." Or something like that. In any case, a film worthy of the nomination. Highly Recommended!

Tuesday-Wednesday

You know, I was just wondering the other day: why does the dryer buzz when it's finished, but not the washer? The washer just shuts down, no fanfare, after really let's be honest, doing all of the heavy lifting, laundry-wise. Moving a tubful of wet clothes back and forth like that? Are you kidding? And don't even get me started on the spin cycle. I swear sometimes I think that thing is going to lift off. But then,after being fed all manner of dirty clothes and making them like new again, it just shuts off, its work done. The dryer? What a diva. I think it's high time the washing machine got a buzzer too. C'mon laundry appliance engineers! Make this RIGHT!

Monday-Tuesday

Recipe for Great Weekend:

Take one part sushi from Nama Sushi and one part Entourage Season 4 on DVD on Friday night. Mix.  Enjoy. Awake Saturday; make Big Breakfast of eggs, sauteed peppers, onions, etc. with Kayla sitting on counter, helping. Later, off to library for storytime. Head out Saturday night to new restaurant in neighbourhood on St. Clair, Zo, and enjoy delicious meal with friends unseen since before Christmas. Over to other friend's house, where amazing bottle of Ripasso is uncorked; play Catch Phrase; win every game. Rise Sunday to another Big Breakfast, Kayla helping. Meet up with The Boys at McSorely's for Super Bowl; win t-shirt, hoody, and hat, thank you Bud Girls. Enjoy exciting game. Home to bed.

The Weekend!

Chili. It's like spaghetti sauce: everyone thinks theirs is the best! For me it's toast. I make GREAT toast. Kidding. Anyway, I know my buddy Dave, aka "Mahone" (yes, my high school friends, still to this day my best friends, all have nicknames that yes, still to this day we use. I can't remember the last time I called Mahone 'Dave', or for that matter Swat 'Jeff', or Izzy 'Jim', or Dugi 'Tony'. Just wouldn't be right. WOULDN'T BE RIGHT!) Where was I. Right. Mahone's chili. Very proud of his chili, the Mahone, so one day I asked him what his secret ingredient was. He looked at me with suspicion. Then he drew me close. "Hen...(um, I'm Hen. Or sometimes Hank. What can I say.) "Hen...it's...

Thursday-Friday

I'd just like to take this time to apologize to any of my neighbours who may have voted for Mayor Miller in the last election, as last night, while trying to un-stick our car from our un-plowed back lane twice, I may have cursed him just a little, and his green roofs and checking restaurants for trans fats and Luminato and the St. Clair Streetcar right-of-way and new garbo and recycling bins and all of the other things he likes to spend money on as opposed to, I don't know, plowing our back lane, the one everybody uses to access their garages, the one the city uses to pick up the garbage and recycling, the one that is basically a street, and they get plowed, right?, and anyway, sorry to my neighbours and, as things got a little more heated, anyone within oh about a 5-block radius of my garage with good hearing.

Wednesday-Thursday

Tuesday-Wednesday

I'm no economist. In fact, I stopped taking math after Grade 11, the earliest possible math bail allowed by law, or at least the Etobicoke Secondary School Board. Numbers and I just don't get along, something I demonstrate on an almost daily basis, doing simple day to day things, like giving the cashier $1.07 when I owe .93, thinking I'll get a dime back. Stuff like that. So no, an economist I surely am not. However. Even I know that if 64 billion dollars can't stimulate something....if 64 thousand million dollars worth of stimuli can't jolt something back to life...well, that thing just might be dead. And despite hitting my math ceiling by grade 11, I'm pretty sure I can say our economy is not dead. In fact it actually looked pretty good on the weekend, when we went to a nice little restaurant in Streetsville called 'Saucy' (packed), and to the movies on the Queensway (packed), which leads me to hope that we won't need all 64 of those billions, because even a mathaphobe like me knows that's a lot of zeros, which is bad if its on the wrong side of the ledger. Now. Let's see.. If I give the cashier $1.13....

Monday-Tuesday

Well, we tried. We tried to play outside with Kayla on the weekend, but it was just too cold for her. Honest, for her. Okay it was pretty cold for mom and dad too but we were going to stick it out. Honest! But anyhow, we succumbed to this spirit-crushing, soul-destroying, life-sucking okay I'll stop now, cold, and sought refuge with our girl...at the movies. We went to the movies. And we soon felt better, like we weren't the only Bad Parents Running From Winter, as we were not alone. The Queensway cinemas were PACKED! We saw Hotel For Dogs, which kept Kayla engaged until about 3/4 of the way through, which was about when she fell asleep. Tragic: she missed the ending! It was UNBELIEVABLE! They ACTUALLY OPENED A HOTEL FOR DOGS! A REAL HOTEL! FOR DOGS! Ahem. To be honest, it was a sweet little movie, better than I expected, and as for our ratings system, I'll give it 4 booster seats out of 5, as Kayla did enjoy the parts she stayed awake for, and hey, it ended well (asleep in mom's arms) and not badly (running up and down stairs; tantrum). That, and it wasn't -stupidsomething with the windchill. Definitely a plus!

The Weekend!

It's a big weekend for lovers of sheep organs! Yes! It's Robbie Burns Day Sunday! Enter the haggis! Yes, take equal parts sheep lung, liver, and heart, stuff into stomach of said sheep, poor thing, that's all gotta hurt, add some oatmeal and seasonings, and boil. Viola! Gaggis. I mean haggis. Oops! Sorry about that. I've had haggis; it was at the old Summit restaurant at Yonge and Eglinton a few years back. A bagpiper piped it in, everyone cheered, and not one to be culturally insensitive, I had a piece. Not bad, actually. If I had a gripe, it was a bit dry. And had the appearance of sawdust. Better than say, the appearance of ground-up heart, lung and liver I suppose, all things considered. Anyhow, the Scots gave us whiskey, so maybe I'll raise a wee dram to Mr. Burns on Sunday. We're fresh out of sheep innards!

Thursday-Friday

The Oscar nominations are out, and if I needed any kind of reminder that I am the parent of a small child, it is this: I have seen none of the Best Picture nominees. I have seen all of the Best Animated Picture nominees. Some, more than once! Several times, actually! Yipee! Now. If I may say, this all makes me a bit of an authority on the category, so when I tell you to pick Wall-E in your office Oscar pool, you can take it to the bank. And let me tell you I think Mittens from Bolt would beat our Eve from Wall-E for best animated actress in a supporting role. if there was such a category. I've seen both movies so many times I've really come to appreciate the subtle nuances in Mitten's performance. Oops. Sorry about that. See what happens when you have kids? Yikes!

Wednesday-Thursday

Jack Frost,

V.P., Misery

Winter Division

Mother Nature Incorporated

Dear Mr. Frost,

Stop. Stop it right now. Enough with the nipping. No more nipping. In fact, I'm being kind. The nipping has been turning into outright biting lately, and I've got the nose to prove it. And ears. And toes. You get the picture. This morning, I played hockey. It was actually warmer inside the rink than it was outside. Inside a building housing FOUR GIANT SHEETS OF ICE. This must end and soon, or I'll, I don't know, edit out all of the kind-sounding references to you in "Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire".

Tuesday-Wednesday

Jeff, a good friend of mine, today said something that made me stop and think. He said it's quite possible the inauguration of Barack Obama is the second most important event of our lifetime, the first being the fall of the Berlin Wall. We both grew up in the 70s, witnessing everything from a man landing on the moon to 9-11, but I think Jeff is right: Mr. Obama's election, like the end of Communism in Europe, actually puts to rest a era, a time, and signals the beginning of a new one. When the wall fell, millions of people felt its effects, and with this President's election, an entire country's history has come full circle. From the steps of a building built with slave labour, America's 44th President was sworn in, and from inside a house also the product of the sweat of slaves will he and his family reside. Like the fall of Communism it's something many never thought they would see in their lifetime, if ever at all. Truly remarkable.

Monday-Tuesday

Okay we're back and I've got a cold. And don't worry, I know, it's the Zero-Sympathy cold, the one you get down in Florida when back home it's been -30 with the windchill. So it's okay. I expect no sympathy. Zero!  But man. For me this has been The Winter of the Cold, even though we've spent 2 weeks of it where it's warm. Hmm. Maybe that's the problem? To avoid getting a cold, do you have to stay where it's cold? That's about as much fun as digging out your street-parked trapped-by-a-frozen-wall-of-snowplow-snow-that's-turned-into-rock car. Which, as I found out yesterday, is no fun at all. Again, not expecting any sympathy.  None.  Honest!

Thursday-Friday-the Weekend

Today, I touched the hand of a giant.  Well, sort of.  I touched the fin of a giant.  And that giant's name?  Shamu!  I, along with our winners went backstage to meet the big lady, something that few are allowed to do, as Shamu is, after all, a killer whale.  Killer.  As in, they like to kill things.  Like humans.  Anything, really.  Killer whales got their name from the fact they kill whales, and not many other animals do that.  And nobody kills killer whales.  Oh, to be at the top of the food chain!  Anyhow, we all were allowed to get right up close to Shamu and touch her fin, after of course,  checking to make sure she had just been fed.  Afterwards we caught her show, "Believe", which drew over 6 million people to the open-air stadium built just for her.  Shamu Stadium.   Hey, when you're 8,000 pounds and your first name is Killer, things tend to break your way.  The show was, like everything else we experienced this trip, truly spectacular.   And like all the shows we saw, I was torn between watching it, and watching Kayla.  Again, she spent the entire time completely transfixed.    I love that look on her face!  And there's a greater message in the Shamu show too:  and that is if man and beast (and they don't get much more beastly than a killer whale) can get along so well, maybe man and, well, man, may one day be on the same page too.
We finished our day with our send-off dinner, a Polynesian luau, complete with fire-eaters, incredible music, and about 20 costume changes.  Nothing here at Seaworld Orlando or Busch Gardens Tampa is done half-way.  Everything impresses.  It's incredible how much fun we've had!
Tomorrow we fly home with, as one of our winnners Jatinder said, memories that will truly last a lifetime.  And more stuffed animals than I think our luggage will be able to handle!

Wednesday-Thursday

Tuesday-Wednesday

Monday-Tuesday

The Weekend!

Thursday-Friday

Wednesday-Thursday

Yes, perhaps this snow doubled your commute time, or left you with a horrible case of inoperable Hat-Hair -- right now as I write this I look like Jimmy Neutron...nice! -- but if it's any consolation, this snow will mean tonight, dad is going to help Kayla build her first snowman. Yay! The Girl has been so patient. She's been dying to make one, and trying to explain to her that all the snow out there wasn't good snowman-making snow was hard:

Kayla: Dad, can we make a snowman?
Dad: Honey, this snow is like sand. On the beach. You know how it's hard to make your meatballs with plain sand, but it's easier when the sand in a little wet? How it all sticks together better? That's what we need. Wetter snow. We call it packing snow. We need to wait for some packing snow.
Kayla: Dad, can we make a snowman?

Tuesday-Wednesday

Hey. Darryl's cold here. There will be no blog today, as I've effectively shut down his brain. Gummed it right up! That poor dude is even more out of it than normal! Love that. Love it! He could practically fall asleep standing up. Sure, he's still functioning. But any brain activity outside of the bare minimum, you know, the keep-the-organs-functioning garden variety? Like writing a blog? Forget about it. Maybe I'll let up a bit tomorrow. I feel for the guy a little. I mean, he's pretty dopey as it is. Not like he needs my help!

Monday-Tuesday

Seems like we're all trying to get our groove back after the Holiday break. Well, let me tell you who needs to get their rhythm back: Kayla. We've been away a lot lately: end of November for American Thanksgiving, then over Christmas...and as we are discovering, remove loving child from schedule and routine = removing word "loving" from "child". YIKES! We've had the Supernanny book out the past few days, looking for the chapter "Your Child Screams Like She Is Being Attacked By An Axe Murderer When You Try To Put Her To Bed". Alas, there is no such chapter, so Supernanny, hurry up and write one, okay, before we go completely mental? On the bright side, my good friend Chris has assured me the crying will stop. Only, however, to be replaced by eye-rolling, heavy sighs, and non-stop "yeah, whatever"s. He has two daughters. He should know!

The Weekend!

Happy New Year!

Tuesday-Wednesday

Monday-Tuesday

It's a Christmas miracle: Kayla's Barbies are no longer homeless! Yay Santa! Yes indeed, the Big Guy came through on his promise, delivered to our little peanut while on his knee at Dufferin Mall, of a Barbie House. Sadly, same little peanut failed to ask Santa if he could send it assembled. That would have been awesome! As oh I dunno, even Mike Homes would have gone crazy trying to build it! But I digress. The house is bigger than our child, because I guess Barbie Deserves Only The Very Best, but Kayla can just barely reach the second story, which means sorry Barbie, the third floor will be off-limits until the next growth spurt. The size of this house also made it the Hardest Thing Ever To Wrap, right Santa? Sure glad it wasn't ol' Dad here who had to wrap it! I'm sure he would have let a few ah figgy pudding!s slip trying to wrap that huge, gigantic, heavy, stupid oops not stupid sorry! heavy did I already say heavy? thing. However, I'm sure the look on Kayla's face when she opened it  would have made it all worthwhile for Dad if he had.  In fact, I know it would have.

Christmas Holiday Time!

Wednesday-Thursday

Tuesday-Wednesday

Did my first batch of Christmas cards yesterday, and I'd just like to say, Internet, thank you thank you thank you. I couldn't find Auntie Jean's address anywhere, and I don't think The Little Corner House In Mimico With The Blue Minivan would have cut it. Besides, it's almost deadline-time for sending stuff out! A cryptic address-puzzle probably wouldn't make it in time for the Big Day. Below are the deadlines from Canada Post, which is good to know, as they don't make many Happy Belated Christmas! cards. See you at the mail box -- I'll be the one dropping the cards in the slot, then opening it again to make sure they all went in there. Like they're going to go somewhere else. I know I know, crazy -- but I just can't help it! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Monday-Tuesday Mon, 2008-12-15 14:48. Darryl Henry We had a Christmas Calamity at our house Sunday. It started off a good day...we decorated the tree!  Beautiful.  Kayla was right into it, hanging up balls, helping with tinsel...when we flipped the switch and turned the lights on...it was perfect.  Perfect! We then left for the day, visiting Auntie Dee in Cambridge.  When we got home, as I was still taking off my boots, I suddenly heard Kayla burst into a crying jag, coming from the living room.  Bawling she was!  I ran in. The tree had fallen over.  Crashed into the coffee table!  Broken ornaments smashed all over the hardwood floor!  It was so sad!  Truth be told, I wanted to cry too!  We reassured The Girl dad would fix all the broken balls ("..*sob*..with sticky tape..*sniff*?") and make the tree nice again.  So off to bed she went, and I did too, about an hour later, after righting the tree, securing it with string and hook,  and saving Christmas.  Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more The Weekend! Fri, 2008-12-12 16:09. Darryl Henry Sigh.  Woe is me.  I'm a GM man, just like my dad.  His dream was to own a Cadillac, and he was one very, very proud guy when he drove that Robin's Egg Blue Coupe de Ville up the driveway back in 1957.  Back then that meant something.  It truly was a symbol of success.  Now, the once mighty Big Three is in tatters, running out of money, maybe gone for good.  Unthinkable.  So I write the following, sung to the tune of O Christmas Tree, with a heavy heart. O poor Big Three O poor Big Three, Your cars are just not selling; Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Thursday-Friday Thu, 2008-12-11 14:30. Darryl Henry It was a Henry first yesterday. The earth stood still. History was made! As for yesterday....I bought the very first Christmas tree I saw. No. You have no idea. I grew up in the fussiest Christmas-tree family ever. We probably banged-up-and-down, twirled-around, brushed-down-the-branches, and harshly criticized thousands of trees over the years. Thousands. And when I say harsh...oh, we were harsh. Any gap...any crook in the trunk...any less-than-perfect pointy top...see ya. Back to the pile, unworthy tannenbaum! And off we'd go, leaving a trail of shattered, spirits-broken, might-as-well-just-throw-me-in-the-wood-chipper-right-now, trees. Sad, really. But hey, nobody said Christmas is all tinsel and holly. Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Wednesday-Thursday Wed, 2008-12-10 15:10. Darryl Henry Dear Santa: After this morning's rush hour, I've changed what I want for Christmas. Strike the flat screen, Leaf tickets, and Blundstones. No, after this morning, what I want...is a flying reindeer. I don't need one of the star reindeers, you know, the ones whose names we actually remember (Rudolph, Dasher, Prancer). One of the lesser-known guys will do. Maybe even one of the rookies who hasn't cracked the roster yet. Whatever. I promise to take good care of him, feed him only the best lichen, grasses, and woody boughs of willow and birch. And no, don't worry, I won't try to milk him! Crazy Laplanders. Anyhow Santa, that's what I really want this Christmas. So I can fly over all the traffic and commute in peace, and not say the things I said today that, if you had heard me, would have likely banished me to the Naughty List 'till the end of my days. Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Tuesday-Wednesday Tue, 2008-12-09 14:37. Darryl Henry Kayla has discovered the joy...of eating snow.  Oh, where do I begin.  We have tried to expain some of the dangers inherent with eating snow, such as obviously avoiding the yellow kind, which of course prompts a great big "wwwwhyyyyy?"as does most anything these days, and we don't dare tell her "wwwwhyyyy", as for some reason lately she is fascinated with what actually causes it to go yellow (at the Ross Petty Christmas show last week, in a voice loud enough for all to hear:  "Mom, where does Cinderella go poo and pee??"), and thus knowing would probably make her more eager to give it a try.  She also became rather upset when Dad told her she couldn't lick the car, bad on many levels, such as for instance it's a car, and also it could lead her to licking other metal things.  When it's -20.  Sigh.  Why can't she just want snow sprinkled on her food, like other children? Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Monday-Tuesday Mon, 2008-12-08 14:53. Darryl Henry It's strange when you open your mouth and nothing comes out.  Especially if you talk for a living.  Anyhow the voice is back, and while Tanya kind of enjoyed the mouth-opens, nothing-comes-out part for a couple days (she swears she didn't, but honey, you're my wife, and I know when you're fibbing!),  I'm back in business, literally and figuratively.  Thank-you Hailey Bryant for filling in on moment's notice, and hopefully that is my one cold for the season.  Although I don't think I can speak for my wife!  Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Wednesday-Thursday Wed, 2008-12-03 14:55. Darryl Henry And now, another installment of Words I Had Never Heard Of Before!  Up until Monday, I had never heard of "prorogue".  I must have skipped I mean was sick for that history class!  I would NEVER skip history class.  Mr. Howe was a great teacher, and also a very large man who coached football and wrestling, and if you stepped out of line, he would stare at you...and growl.  Yes, growl.   Anyhow, now that we know what it means, I think I may ask the Governor-General to prorogue tomorrow.  Put it on hold for a day or two.  This cold Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Tuesday-Wednesday Tue, 2008-12-02 15:39. Darryl Henry Okay. I was away last week. I'm just trying to get caught up. Let's see if I've got this straight.   Thursday the Prime Minister, a bit full of himself, poked the opposition with a pointed stick, and then they poked back, but they had three sticks to his one, so he laid his stick down, but the opposition said "No you don't! You poked first! We're not done!", and now, while our country slides towards the scariest time since the Great Depression, the leaders we've elected to run things are poking each other with pointed sticks, and thus the Governor-General is going to have to pick a winner, and this likely will mean we'll be led by a guy his own party didn't want as their leader anymore, helped by a group of people who want to spilt up the country. Right then. Santa? Lumps of coal all around! Please and thank-you. Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Monday-Tuesday Mon, 2008-12-01 16:24. Darryl Henry Some thoughts after spending a lovely time in Virginia for Thanksgiving: 1) There's nothing quite like a Virginia ham. Ontario Pork Producer, I love you too, but MAN, there's something about a Virginia ham. Highly recommended. 2) Judging from the crowds at all the malls and the dearth of parking spaces, there may be an Economic Meltdown, but no-one has told the Average American Consumer. People are buying. And yes, that would include my wife. I have the aching back to prove it. Honey, how did you get all that stuff in one suitcase?! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more The Blogger Is Out...Until Next Monday! Tue, 2008-11-25 14:48. Darryl Henry We're off to Virginia for American Thanksgiving! Tanya's dad, Billy, and his wife Karen are great hosts, and we try to be model guests, although we have our limits, and that means passing on the grits. Grits are great, if you need to patch drywall. Oh yeah. They're just a little....pasty. Billy, it's not your cooking, honest! And as retired US Navy-guy who used to put missiles on the bellies of jetplanes on aircraft carriers, I can only hope you believe me.  Gulp! While we're away visiting Bop-Bop, as Kayla calls her grandad, Troy McCallum will be in and he'll take good care of you. If he doesn't, let me know, and I'll bring him a nice, big, tupperware-full of grits. Yum! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Monday-Tuesday Mon, 2008-11-24 16:26. Darryl Henry Yikes. Watching the news or picking up a newspaper these days should come with the equivalent of a parental advisory warning. Actually, it should come with the actual parental advisory warning. "The following newscast is rated T for Teen. Because it's way too scary for adults. Ah, to be a teenager again...remember those carefree days?! Gee, they were great. Ahem. Um, and now, here's Lloyd with the News". Yes. Now even the 'D' word is being thrown around, and not the kind of 'D' you can cure with a pint of Ben & Jerry's. But honestly, this hysteria can get hysterical, if that makes sense, so I suggest taking it all with a grain of salt. Think back to this summer: I'd bet the rent many of the experts would have said gas would hit $1.76 a litre before it would ever hit .76 cents a litre, and that maybe it would never go that low again, and yet here we are. I actually look forward to getting gas now. So who knows? Not me. So maybe not them either. Pass the Cherry Garcia! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment The Weekend Fri, 2008-11-21 16:17. Darryl Henry I was a single parent this week.  Holy cow.  If you're a single parent, you're my hero.  If you're a single parent who unlike me has more than one child , you are my HERO!  IN UPPER CASE!  Good heavens.  Tanya left for Miami, I know, poor dear, on Saturday,  and didn't get back until last night, Thursday.  So it was just me and Kayla.  And this thing called Life.  Wow!    There's so little time for Life when you're on your own with a little one!   It's wild!  So little time!  Little, little time!  Okay.  No time, actually.  None.  Zero.  Nada.  So here's what I've decided:  it's breaktime.  Tan can tackle  Mount Laundry, Mount Dusty, Mount Full-Dishwasher, etc. etc. etc. this weekend.  Might seem harsh, but hey, she was in Miami!  I'm sure she'll understand. Right?!  Wish me luck.  Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Thursday - Friday Thu, 2008-11-20 17:43. Darryl Henry Sarah, you're heading to the naughty list.  Sarah.  SARAH!  DON'T BUY THE COAT! Ahem.  Sarah came up to say hi to us today at Sears, and when I asked her if she was going to do any Christmas shopping, she said yes.  For herself.  A coat.  Holy JEEZ!  Sarah, you're only breaking Unbreakable Christmas Rule #1,  the biggie, bigger than don't eat the turkey leg at dinner it's Uncle Johns, and that is, Never Buy Anything Big For Yourself Before Christmas!!   Oh my.  Now someone who has you on their list and who thought they you wrapped up..."I know what I'll get Sarah...a COAT!" is going to be stuck.  Here they thought they had the Perfect Gift Idea.  No more!  Because you broke the rule!  Here comes the gift card.  Ugh.  Oh well.  Hey, in this weather, I guess if you need a coat, you get a coat.  I'm sure Santa will understand.  Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Wednesday - Thursday Thu, 2008-11-20 11:57. Darryl Henry I love being here at Sears, meeting all these nice Ez-Rock listeners, and yes, checking out the toy department.  I remember when going to Toyland at the Big Downtown Department Store (pre-mall days...yes, I  grew up in the dark ages) was a HUGE event.  Huge.  Rivaled only by the arrival of The Catalogue (yes, The Catalogue...told you...dark ages...!) as the Highlight of Christmas.  At least up until the Visit With Santa, which you could only do at the Big Downtown Department Store (see:  dark ages).  Boy how things have changed.  But back to the toys.  They're on the third floor here at Sears Yonge and Dundas, and I've already got my must have present:  that remote-control helicopter.  A remote-control helicopter!   Are you kidding me??!  How cool is that??!  Santa...I hope you're listening.  And don't worry I PROMISE I'll only use it for good and not for evil,  ie: dive-bombing my sister.  Promise! Darryl Henry's blog | read more Tuesday - Wednesday Tue, 2008-11-18 15:17. Darryl Henry Went to the premiere of Bolt on Monday, and I'm pleased to report Kayla remained seated for almost the entire movie.   I wasn't holding out much hope to be honest, as the concept is a bit high-minded for an almost-3 year-old: basically, it's The Truman Show, only it's a pooch.  Bolt stars as a dog with super-dog powers on a t.v. show, only he doesn't realize it's a t.v. show, and thinks he really does have these super-dog powers, and hilarity ensues when he runs away and tries to run through brick walls.  You get the idea.  Not sure if Kayla did.  But I guess anything with a talking dog, and cat and hamster for that matter, is enough to keep her entertained.  And even though there were quite a few crash-boom-bangs, she was unfazed.  Towards the end she wanted to roam the seat row, so unlike Madagascar 2, Bolt doesn't quite warrant a perfect 5 booster-seat review, but it is certainly deserving of a solid 4.  It opens Friday! Darryl Henry's blog | read more Monday-Tuesday Mon, 2008-11-17 16:44. Darryl Henry We all speculated why the parade suddenly stopped yesterday after the first float.  After all the clowns, who I think almost enjoyed throwing candy at people a little too much (note to clowns:  those little boxes of smarties can leave a mark.  Toss underhand only in future.), after they marched past...there was nothing.  For a long time.  Half an hour at least!  It felt far longer, maybe thanks to the snrain (Snrain:  Looks like snow, feels like rain!) But nothing.  Our guesses for the delay:  1) when the floats paused, the city ticketed them for violating the anti-idling by-law;  2) an upside-down-walking-clown realized he'd been spending his whole life walking upside-down, and collapsed in tears; or 3) Santa needed a bathroom break.  Bet you can guess which theory was mine! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment The Weekend! Fri, 2008-11-14 15:27. Darryl Henry Santa Claus is coming to town!  And hopefully before he leaves, he'll have had time to hit the loo.  That's right.  As I found out one chilly day many, many years ago, Santa is magic, he is wonder, but at his core, he is still but a man, a man who, like all men, still needs to answer nature's call.  And sometimes is in such dire need...uses the kind of language that, well, gets all of us on the naughty list, if you know what I mean.  Ahh, it's like it was yesterday...  There we were, about 20 years ago, awaiting the start of the Niagara Falls Santa Claus parade.  I was on the float of a rock station I was working at at the time, surrounded by the other floats, and marching bands, and clowns, getting ready to start, when all of a sudden... Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Thursday-Friday Thu, 2008-11-13 16:42. Darryl Henry Santa Claus is coming to town and boy, am I ready!  Have been since, well, let's see now, oh, June.  Yes, June.  JUNE!  Sigh.  See, it was June when Kayla found the Dora/Backyardigans Christmas cd in the glove box of dad's car, dad thinking it was safe in there, wrong again dad, and ever since then, that's the ONLY MUSIC THAT CAN BE PLAYED WHILE IN DAD'S CAR.  I remember distinctly being stuck in cottage-country traffic on the 401 one Friday, in June, yes June, windows rolled down, and Dora singing Suzy Snowflake, blasting loud and proud, to the confusion of fellow passing motorists.  Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Wednesday-Thursday Wed, 2008-11-12 15:41. Darryl Henry I'm so confused.  The headline in the Star today said the dropping price of oil could be...bad.  I'm pretty sure this summer, I read headlines that said the skyrocketing price of oil could be...bad.  Hmm.  Up, down...what do you think, price of oil?  Hey, it's all bad. Cool. Thanks. Personally, I like that first bit of bad news.  In fact...it could almost be termed...sit down, newspaper-headline-writers...good news.  I know.  Foreign concept. Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Tuesday-Wednesday Tue, 2008-11-11 16:19. Darryl Henry I love the poppy.  I love what it represents, and that in this go-go world of ours, where sometimes it feels we are all in our little bubbles, completely self-absorbed, not caring about or even seeing anyone around us, we still can come together and in a quiet, unassuming way, honour something so vital, so important, so humbling.  That when push comes to shove, we still make an effort to be on the same page, united, and for such good reason.  It seemed I saw fewer poppies than in the past this year, which I found troubling, but I also thought it was harder to Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Monday-Tuesday Mon, 2008-11-10 14:46. Darryl Henry **SPOILER ALERT** Alex does not bite Marty's bum in Madagascar 2.  He does, however, make reference to it at the very end.  So to speak. So no, there was no popcorn-through-the-nose Saturday at Yorkdale.  But, Madagascar 2 scores a perfect 5 Booster Seats on the Henry Family Booster-Seat Ratings System! (1 booster seat:  your child will be running up and down the stairs by the time the opening credits end; 5 booster seats: your child will miraculously remain seated for the entire movie.)  Mom and Dad enjoyed it too -- it's funnier than the fi Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more The Weekend! Fri, 2008-11-07 15:28. Darryl Henry We're off to Madagascar 2 this weekend, and boy, look out if Alex the Lion bites Marty the Zebra on the butt again. I mean it. It could get messy. Kayla might, for the first time, at the tender age of 2 11/12ths, experience...popcorn through the nose. Hey, we've all done it at least once! For my cousin Mark, it was spaghetti, at a nice restaurant downtown. Don't ask. Oh man that was bad! Where was I. Right. I'm warning you, if you're sitting near us at Yorkdale, I, as her parent, cannot be held responsible if the butt-chomping scene, should there be one like there is in the first movie, results in the inevitable. Right now, that scene, in Kayla's world, is the funniest thing ever, even eclipsing the sight of dad, on her orders, wearing her blonde wig all Halloween night because it was too hot for her. Yes, a proud moment. But back to the movie: spoiler alert be darned, if anyone can tell me A) if there is another bum-biting scene, and B) at exactly what point it's in the movie, then at least I can make sure Kayla's no where near the popcorn and bubble juice. That's about the best I can do. Hey, at least it won't be spaghetti! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Thursday-Friday Thu, 2008-11-06 16:39. Darryl Henry It's always good to meet new people.  Different people.  Interesting people.  And today, I met two people...who like to drink egg nog all year 'round.  That's right.  Egg nog.  Not just for Christmas anymore!  Apparently.   I mentioned on the air that I've seen egg nog on the shelf of my grocery store since September, and I wondered, is anyone actually drinking egg nog that early?!  The phone rang almost immediately.  First it was Robbie; then Pamela, both lovin' the nog whenever they can get it.  Me, I find it a bit sweet, and to be honest, it actually took me years to try it as I thought because of the name, it would taste of, well, eggs.  I'm not Rocky.  I don't really want to pour myself a glass of..eggs.  Anyhow, I quickly realized that egg nog is less about eggs and more about nog, which is Swedish for "insanely sweet" (okay, made that part up, but it wouldn't surprise me), and while I do buy exactly one carton per year, it's never before December.  So never fear Robbie and Pamela -- I won't be cutting into your nog consumption!  Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Wednesday-Thursday Wed, 2008-11-05 16:03. Darryl Henry I went to bed early last night so when I woke up this morning, I had to ask my still half-asleep wife: Did he win? Uh-huh By a lot? Uh-huh Good speech? Uhhhh-HUHHHHH!! Gotcha. I have already checked, sensing my wife has already wondered:  DC hotels are already almost fully booked on January 20th, Inauguration day.  And by the way, can I borrow that space-age hologram technology the next time I want to sneak a day off?  I wonder if CNN could beam me into the office every once in a while.  Like maybe on January 20th should my wife find a hotel room... Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Tuesday-Wednesday Tue, 2008-11-04 15:01. Darryl Henry It seems like just last week my wife PVRed an episode of Oprah so I could watch it when I got home.  Oprah had had a politician on, and this guy made such an impression on my wife she felt I just had to see the show.  "He flies coach, honey!  Says it's the best way to get to know the people!  He's not like your typical politician!  You've got to see this guy!" So I watched the show.  Like her, it was the first time I'd ever heard of Barack Obama.  Oprah was talking presidency which I took as the usual Oprah breathless enthusiasm and rolled my eyes, immediately dismissing such a far-flung notion.   Which is why she's Oprah and I'm...well, not Oprah.  Talk about having a hunch.  Incredible! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Monday-Tuesday Mon, 2008-11-03 14:57. Darryl Henry I can say with a clear conscience that no, I have not dipped into Kayla's Halloween candy bag.  Dora head, actually.  She collected her candy in a pail that was basically, the Head of Dora.  Anyhoo, it's a good thing I'm not tempted to dip into, ah, Dora's head, because, well,  there isn't much in there.  She only went to 5 or 6 houses before she asked mom if she could go home...and hand out candy!  Yes, when it came to shelling out, she preferred doing it to yelling it, and thus, she spent most of the night on the porch with us in her princess outfit, doling out goodies.  Whenever kids would come down the sidewalk, she'd yell "Customers, dad!  Customers!" -- we have no idea where she got that from, but we loved it! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more The Weekend! Fri, 2008-10-31 15:33. Darryl Henry Ahh, Halloween is here.  I remember my first Halloween on my street 10 years ago...I was so excited, kids trick-or-treating at my house, my very first house...and boy, did that sense of giddy fun ever end in a hurry when I realized holy COW!  I'VE RUN OUT OF CANDY!  And only a half an hour after the first shell-out shell-outer!  After only half an hour...I was all shelled-out!  And there were stilll kids everywhere.  EVERYWHERE!  I bought a box of about 50 candy bars, you know, thinking that would do...I was so wrong.  I had no idea I had moved into the most kid-heavy, Halloween-crazy neighbourhood in Toronto.  So I scrambled to shut 'er down...bringing in the pumpkin and any other decoration that might signal I was open for business, trying not to be noticed, while trick-or-treating was going on all around me.  I then ran into the house and turned off all the lights, certain the message was clear, that mine was one of those houses we all hated growing up, and I was one of those adults, a Halloween version of the Grinch, no candy for you. Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Thursday-Friday Thu, 2008-10-30 15:05. Darryl Henry Did you get the flyer I got today? The one from the large, orange, big-box Your-House-Is-A-Work-In-Progress-And-Always-Will-Be-ha-ha-ha Depot? The one advertising...Christmas lights?  Yeah. Christmas lights.  Actually, they called them "Holiday Lights", but that's another blog for another day. Listen, can I take down my fake tombstones and manequin leg poking out from the side of the shrub and faux spiderwebbing and the light-up "Go Away!" rock before you start advertising the CHRISTMAS LIGHTS? Sorry about that. Didn't mean to go all upper case on you, YHIAWIPAAWBhhh Depot. But you get what I mean. Thanks. And...Happy Halloween! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Wednesday-Thursday Wed, 2008-10-29 13:53. Darryl Henry Honey, my guess is it's behind the stroller, near the thing you've been meaning to take back to the store for the past 5 weeks, next to the knapsack you take to the gym, just beyond the folded-up emergency picnic blanket that's too big and keeps coming un-folded, to the right of that pile of Kayla's toys, beside that old diaper bag we don't use anymore, and just off the side of that bagful of drycleaning you haven't dropped off yet.  Yes, I think that's where the scraper is, honey. I love my wife. Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Tuesday-Wednesday Tue, 2008-10-28 14:59. Darryl Henry I belong to that rare subspecies of the human race, homocellphone-freeus, an uncommon and rare primate, unencumbered by any kind of mobile communication device.  That's right.  No cell.  I only once owned one; foisted upon me by my wife when she was pregnant.  I fought it at first, but then I thought hey, if she can carry a bowling-ball sized mass of moving, kicking tissue in her midsection, I can surely haul about a phone.  And besides, you don't argue with a pregnant woman.  Anyhow, I never did learn how to access messages with this thing, and to be honest I barely could figure out how to make a call, and in fact to this day I'm still not quite sure how to hang most of them up .  But one thing I found for certain was yes, trying to drive with it was risky.  I never missed more exits, or looked down only to see I was going well over 120, or arrived home forgetting how I got there, more than when I had that phone in my car.  So I'm thinking maybe this new law is a good idea.  Besides, less time on the cell means more time to enjoy the tunes on Ez Rock!  Shameless plug, yes.  But I couldn't resist! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Monday-Tuesday Mon, 2008-10-27 15:38. Darryl Henry I am happy to report that my father in-law Billy is still married to his wife, Karen.  Yay!  This is a good thing as Karen is a very, very nice person with a good heart, which, despite all this goodness, probably would have turned black if Billy had bought a car at the RM Auction this weekend.  That's right.  See, Billy already has a really cool '57 Chevy, and a Harley, and he used to own a pretty nice Ford pickup truck until one day a few years back he went out to run some errands, and you know how you see something and you just have to have it?!, although usually 'it' isn't a big, honkin, Dodge Ram pickup truck, except in this case it was, which led to Karen's heart turning a few shades of grey, and some serious couch time for Billy.  So, while visiting from Virginia this weekend, Billy was under strict orders not to buy anything at the auction, and boy it was tough as there were so many beauties and they were going cheap!, but Billy just watched as Corvette, Chevelle, and Camero rolled by, proving that while 454 cubic inches of Detroit muscle may be a lot of giddy-up, it's no match for the bonds of true love. Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more The Weekend! Fri, 2008-10-24 13:56. Darryl Henry I bet the Halloween stores will be crazy this weekend!  I wonder what the big adult costume will be this year.  Hmm.  I'm sure there will be more than a few Sarah Palins.  For the ambitious, maybe the odd Puffin.  As for me personally, I was thinking I'd make a giant, downward pointing arrow and go as the economy.  Insert rim shot here!  Ahem.  Anyhow, I was looking through one of the flyers the other day, and just after the pet costumes...nevermind...there were maternity costumes!  I know Tanya would have rather eaten a bag of Halloween kisses than go to a Halloween party...any party really!...when she was expecting Kayla. If you're off to a Halloween party this weekend, let me know what the cool costumes are.  Because I think Tan is now ready to make up for lost time! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Thursday-Friday Thu, 2008-10-23 15:09. Darryl Henry Wow.  What an EXCITING TIME FOR CHILDREN OF ALL AGES!  Just ONE MORE SLEEP!  That's right!  ONE MORE SLEEP until...The Wiggles!  And High School Musical the Movie!  And (for this big kid!) the RM Custom Car Auction!  YAY!  For the younger set, Wags, and lots of singing and dancing.  For the tweens, Wildcats, and lots of singing and dancing.  And for this guy, tailfins, and lots of singing and dancing (if I can get that '55 Coupe de Ville at a bargain price!  Or that '64 Ford Galaxie in Robin's Egg Blue just like the one my Uncle Ken had.  Or that awesome '55 Bel Air convertable!  Or...) Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Wednesday-Thursday Wed, 2008-10-22 13:55. Darryl Henry I'm glad this little cold snap is coming to an end, because I've got my in-laws coming in from Virginia Beach, and without fail, everytime they visit, it's FREEZING.  Not just cold, but FREEZING!  No matter what time of year.  One January it was so bad, I swear they vowed never to return.  Even we didn't want to return.  And we live here.  The windchill was -35 or something stupid like that!  Nuts.  And three years ago when Kayla was born, we had just been hit with one of those city-paralyzing snowstorms.  They couldn&# Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Tuesday-Wednesday Tue, 2008-10-21 13:50. Darryl Henry It's so easy to find the perfect leaf right now, you know? Honestly, there's something about a big, perfect, brilliant red or bright orange maple leaf.  Sure, flowers get all the headlines.  Let them!  I love the leaves.  Leaves awashed in the colours of Fall.  Right there at your feet.  Just asking to be picked up and admired.  And alas, thanks to this wind, by the weekend there'll be a lot of them.  Tons.  More than you can shake a stick at.  A stick with a metal, fanned-out end on it that makes gathering said beauties a Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Monday-Tuesday Mon, 2008-10-20 13:49. Darryl Henry Ah, Monday.  Hope you had a nice weekend!  We started to decorate the house for Halloween, and for some reason, Kayla is now telling anyone who will listen that this Halloween mommy is dressing up as a banana.  Yes, a banana.  We have no idea where this came from.  Never once has my wife articulated any desire to dress up like a banana; or any other fruit for that matter.  Go ahead.  Ask her what she's going as.  "I'm going as a princess" she'll answer "...And mommy is going as a banana!"  Hmm.  Anyone you know with a slightly-used banana outfit kicking around? Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more The Weekend! Fri, 2008-10-17 14:12. Darryl Henry I love my child.  Every Halloween, a house we pass by to and from her daycare does a full on, holy cow, I-wouldn't-go-there-if-they-were-handing-out-gold-bars-the-owner-must-be-a-producer-of-the-Saw-movies  scary front yard.  Lifesize werewolves.  A witch flying through the air.  Coffins.  Tombstones.  Spiders.  Blood.  Cobwebs.  The only thing missing would be a stock ticker.  I kid.  Honestly though, this is one creepy place.  And it's so cool!  So when we first saw it last week, we drove by really slow.  Me:  Look honey!  Look how scary it is!  Look at the werewolves fighting eachother!  Woooo...scary!  And the witch!  Oh my goodness! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Thursday-Friday Thu, 2008-10-16 15:06. Darryl Henry Watched the final Presidential debate last night.  I love a good debate, probably because I'm an Aries, and therefore am always right.  Just ask any Aries.  I don't know how we do it.  It's a gift!  Ahem.  Anyhow, I have this funny feeling these 2 guys, deep down inside, actually like each other.  Okay, maybe not like-like, but respect-like, or admire-like, you know?  It just seems to me that they're trying, really trying, to get mean and nasty with one another...and failing.  But, sadly, you have to get mean and nasty during election campaigns these days it seems, so they leave that part to their running-mates. Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Wednesday-Thursday Wed, 2008-10-15 13:54. Darryl Henry So, the election is done for another year!  They have officially become annual events, no?  Anyhow, I can only say that once again I backed a loser in our riding, who this year barely finished ahead of a bike courier.  Oh well.  Good on you for trying, dear candidate, knowing full well the riding has voted the same way for about 70 years, and yet again this year you still gave it your all.   I can only hope in defeat you felt half as good as Elizabeth May, who they would still be scraping off the ceiling if she had actually won!  Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Tuesday-Wednesday Tue, 2008-10-14 13:55. Darryl Henry This just in:  CBC and CTV are both declaring a majority. Of Canadians ate too much turkey on the weekend. It's Election Night in Canada!  Cue the theme.  What's that?  We got rid of that theme too?  Nevermind.  Anyway, what a strange campaign.  It went from Puffingate (Harmless fun? Overly mean? Discuss.) to the somewhat more serious issue of who best to guide us through the Global Economic Meltdown, which, like that puffin, came out of nowhere, and with kaka.  And meantime, all of it unfolded in the shadow of the fascinating, historic American election.  Unreal!  Get out and vote, even if you're like me and you know your candidate doesn't stand a Puffin's chance in Hull.  Remember, the only wasted vote is the one not cast.  I declare that to be the one sure thing this (and any) election. Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment The Weekend! Fri, 2008-10-10 15:02. Darryl Henry My family.  My family's health.  My health.  Kayla's laugh.  Tanya's smile.  My friends.  My great, fun job.  Not having a day-timer, agenda, Blackberry, or cell phone.  My co-workers, all of whom are somehow so nice.  My neighbourhood.  My neighbours.  Being invited to Mary's across the street for her incredible home-cooked  Italian.  That I have a roof over my head.  That I had the means to replace said roof this summer.  Food on the table.  Nama Sushi on St. Clair.  Friday night Nama Sushi and Dexter nights.  My in-laws.  That my in-laws have a condo in Myrtle Beach (!).  My extended family in Vancouver.  That I have a place to stay in Vancouver (thanks extended famliy!)  My country.  My city -- and that I am now wise enough to laugh at the crazy people who run it.  The TTC, warts and all.  The great bunch of guys I play hockey with twice a week.  That my body will let me play hockey twice a week (!).  Dr. Zee, our family doctor.  That we have a family doctor.  That I had such a great raising by the best mom and dad a kid could have asked for.  That I still feel like a kid.  Having  the NHL, NBA, and MLB all in my backyard.   My backyard.  My front yard. Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Thursday-Friday Thu, 2008-10-09 14:11. Darryl Henry In honour of the new Leaf season starting tonight, today's blog is going to try hard, make a few mistakes, look quite good at times and pretty bad at others, feature a collection of words you've never heard of, make you pine for the past,  and maybe, eventually, if everything goes right, leave you with just the teeniest, tiniest little wee bit of hope. Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Wednesday-Thursday Wed, 2008-10-08 13:53. Darryl Henry I realized something today, as my brand-new socks slid down to around my ankles about 15 steps out the door.  Brand new.  And not cheapies.  Good ones.  From Roots!  And there they were.  Ankles. By about step 15. Argh!  Nothing drives me more bonkers than socks that do that.  So there I was every 10 feet or so, having to stop, bend over, and pull them up, only to have them slowly torture me yet again with their in-elasticity, slip slidin' away, to my ankles, and if I really wanted to plumb the depths of my misery, beyond.  Go on!  Go to the heel.  I dare you!  Oh.  You can go to the heel.  And past the heel?  To the bottom of my foot?  How do you do that?  Anyhow.  Here's what I realized:  It's good to be me.  If that's my biggest complaint...my socks...if that's what I'm fretting about most on this particular morning...then you know what?  Life Is Good.  It's good!  It's good to be me! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Tuesday-Wednesday Tue, 2008-10-07 13:51. Darryl Henry Thanks to this Global Economic Crisis, I'm learning new things everyday!  Okay, maybe I'm not "learning", exactly, more like "reading about them, often 4 or 5 times over, and still not quite sure" new things everyday.  Today there was a new word I learned:  "awfulizing".  Apparently this is what people do when they feel only the worst-case-scenario is going to play out, and act accordingly.  And yesterday, there was an awful lot of awfulizing going on on Bay Street.  Awfulizing.  I like it.  And I think, as a Leaf fa Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Monday-Tuesday Mon, 2008-10-06 13:54. Darryl Henry Hope you had a nice weekend!  We were in Cambridge Sunday, visiting my sis, and found ourselves at KimGlow Farms for their Fall fair, which led us to discovering that our girl cannot, at any time, and now matter how minute, have hay inside her clothing.  Which is problematic when you're at a farm.  Running around the Hay Castle.  Yes, all would be fine then WHOA!  DAD!  I've got HAY IN MY SHOE!  Then off would come the shoe, the sock, and low and behold, yes indeed, a speck of hay.  Actually, "speck" is being generous.  Hay dust, r Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more The Weekend! Fri, 2008-10-03 13:48. Darryl Henry As the parent of a young child, I have to say, there are just too many good-looking movies being released this weekend.  Not fair, Movie People!  Maybe one or two, but c'mon!  Everywhere I look I see 3, 4 stars  Blindness. Rachel Getting Married. Nick & Nora's Infinite Playlist.  And meanwhile, the review of the one that we'll get to see began like this in the Post today: " I recently spent an excruciating 90 minutes loathing a talking-dog movie called Beverly Hills Chihuahua." Great.   Well, it better make Kayla laugh, because then at least I'll be able to hear my favourite sound in the world.  Unless of course...I can convince her she'd like to see the story of the guy who invented the intermittent windshield wiper!  Hmmm...I wonder what are the chances.... Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Thursday-Friday Thu, 2008-10-02 14:54. Darryl Henry Went grocery shopping Tuesday, and there they were, right there in the produce section, in one of those bins, all clean like they'd just been given a bath.  Pumpkins.  PUMPKINS!  And they were only $2.99!  And they were BIG ONES too!  Now, I didn't exactly have pumpkins on my list, because, I dunno, Halloween is A MONTH AWAY, but gee...$2.99!  And they were nice!  And did I mention BIG?!  No tiny little, stem-missing, odd-shaped misfits, these gourds, no sir.  And so there I stood.  Should I buy one?  No.  Halloween's a month away.  Yeah, but they're only $2.99!  No.  It will sit out in the backyard and rot.  You can put it in the garage.  Worse.  I'll end up kicking it.  It'll just get in the way.  But in three weeks maybe all the pumpkins will be picked-over ugly.  And 4 times the price!  You know how the World Pumpkin Markets work!  Oh please.  Surely there will be some nice, good-sized, stem-intact, $2.99 pumpkins a week before Halloween. Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Wednesday-Thursday Wed, 2008-10-01 13:47. Darryl Henry Further to my probably horribly misinformed attempt at trying to figure out this Global Economic Meltdown, let me just say...I have good news.  That's right.  America, I have good news.   Expect an influx of cash very soon.  A significant influx of new money.  That's right.  You guessed it:  my wife received the new Land's End catalogue in the mail Monday.  Help is on the way.  Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Tuesday-Wednesday Tue, 2008-09-30 13:47. Darryl Henry So let me see if I have this right:  Down in the States, banks issued a ton of mortgages to people who couldn't afford them, and pretty soon they stopped paying, and their houses foreclosed, which normally wouldn't be that big a deal because then the bank would own the house, but the housing market tanked, and thus the houses weren't worth much anymore, and meantime a lot of these mortgages had been packaged up and sold to investors, I guess they didn't read the prospectus or whatever that's called, and some of these investors were actually big investment companies, and what they therefore ended up buying was bupkis, and a lot of it, and they started to go broke, and then a lot of the banks took a look in the vault and found out that they were almost out of actual money, not a good thing I guess if you're a bank, and now we're at the point whereby if the dominoes keep falling unabated, within the next 2 weeks or so when you go to an ATM in the States, nothing will come out. Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Monday-Tuesday Mon, 2008-09-29 13:52. Darryl Henry Hope you had a nice weekend.  I noticed this morning a few empty desks here, and I remembered:  the Jewish New Year is upon us! I understand my Jewish friends are going to party like it's 5769.  Oh I KILL me!  Anyway, Shana Tova!  Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment The Weekend! Fri, 2008-09-26 13:54. Darryl Henry There it was.  I turned off of Black Creek yesterday and headed up Tretheway, and there it was.   This tree.  This beautiful, blazing orangy-red tree.  Not a green leaf on it.  And it was a big one, too!  Man.  Somebody has a picture perfect reminder of all that makes Fall great on their front yard.  Lucky people!  And to think, I overhead a couple of women at the Stockyards LCBO this week talking about how they hated Fall, "...because everything's dying, you know?!"  Come ON!  Hey listen -- if you're thinking of a Sunday drive to check out the colours, find out where they are at travelontario.net.  Search under "Fall colours report" and go enjoy! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Thursday-Friday Thu, 2008-09-25 13:47. Darryl Henry I'm sorry to hear that VIVA went on strike, but I was just wondering, while this goes on, would it be okay if we borrowed your buses?  Please?  They're really nice.  Especially inside.  Ours?  Not so much.  The interior of the new TTC buses are a lovely combination of black, gray, with a splash of police-tape yellow.   Cheery!  And don't get me started on the stairs in the back.  So really, VIVA people, would you mind letting us use your buses?  Or at the very least, the services of your interior designer.  Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Wednesday-Thursday Wed, 2008-09-24 13:49. Darryl Henry I can't recall ever seeing fewer lawn signs during an election than right now.  I think it's safe to say, as a nation, we have yet to catch Election Fever.  This despite the fact that, even just in the GTA, we have a candidate who in his spare time is an Elvis impersonator (Dorian Baxter, Newmarket-Aurora); one who has spent part of his professional life playing an alien in Star Trek: Voyager (David Sparrow, Don Valley West); one who made #3 on Maxim magazine's recent poll of The World's Hottest Politicians (Ruby Dhalia (Brampton-Springdale); and one who has hoisted the Stanley Cup, albeit as a member of the Canadiens, which I try not to hold against him (Ken Dryden, York Centre).  See? Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Tuesday-Wednesday Tue, 2008-09-23 13:53. Darryl Henry I'm going to cut the grass tonight.  And I'm going to give it the Cadillac.  That's right. The Cadillac!  See, I have two cuts for the lawn:  the park cut, and the Cadillac cut.  The first one involves very little work.  No trimming, no weedwhacking, no moving of lawn furniture...the end result is very...well...park-like.  The Cadilliac is full-on manicured perfection.  For when company is coming over.  Or when it's nice out.  Like today! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Monday-Tuesday Mon, 2008-09-22 13:53. Darryl Henry Went apple picking on the weekend.  With pretty much every other family in the GTA.  Holy cow!  Man, Chudleighs was packed! But what fun.  Last year, Kayla was pretty much just along for the ride.  You know, she was not quite two, and really had no idea what was going on.  This year?  Let's just say, we walked out of that place with 14 pounds of apples.  14 pounds.  And if we hadn't threatened her with our go-to No Lion King Book Before Bed ultimatum, she'd still be there picking away! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment The Weekend! Fri, 2008-09-19 13:55. Darryl Henry Pinch me:  the airlines are dropping their fuel surcharge?!  And Air Canada is also shelving its extra baggage fee?!  Woo hoo!  Let me just say, this is a good first step, Air Canada.  A good first step.  Keep it going.  Because let's be honest, it was getting kind of crazy for awhile there.   Here's our Crazy Airline Story, and everybody has one:  we wanted to travel to Vancouver this past summer, but it had suddenly gotten out-of-this-world expensive:  almost $900!  Then my wife found an Air Canada flight to Seattle...with a stop in Vancouver...for $500.   Huh?  How is this possible??  I'm sure there was a good reason, just as there is for the need to instruct us on how to use seat belts.  Which, thank goodness, were still one of few things included in the price of a ticket.  Crazy! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Thursday-Friday Thu, 2008-09-18 13:52. Darryl Henry The New Kids on the Block are at the ACC tonight, and I don't mean Your 2008 Toronto Maple Leafs.  Who are these guys?  I've never heard of half of them!  Anyhow. The band NKOTB is here, and I'm reminded of a stunt a disc jockey you may know, Scruff Connors, did when I worked with him at a rock station in the '80s.  NKOTB were the biggest thing on the planet, and they were coming to Toronto, and all week he said "Friday, New Kids on the Block will be in studio with me!"  So, Friday rolls around, and by 8:30am the front lawn of the station is overrun with preteens.  Screaming, hysterical, teary-eyed preteen girls.  And when the limo pulled up, it was bedlam.  Chaos.  And who came out of that limo? Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Wednesday-Thursday Wed, 2008-09-17 14:29. Darryl Henry Today, musings on fruit. 1)  The banana I brought in this morning went from just right to way too brown in about 5 hours.  From nicely brown-speckled to completely, blechy, no-thank-you brown in 5 hours.   How is this possible?  Mind you, I'd much rather eat an overly ripe banana than a green one, but this is ridiculous.  To the freezer you go for a future banana bread!  I am through with you. 2) The peaches this year were delicious.  Thank you, farmers of Niagara. 3) Bought our first bag of the brilliant red and pale green, crunchy- tart delights known as the McIntosh apple.  Yum!  We grow the best stuff on earth.  Thank you, John McIntosh, you who discovered this apple right here in Ontario almost 200 years ago.  I bet yours won't go crazy ripe on me in 5 hours! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Tuesday-Wednesday Tue, 2008-09-16 13:52. Darryl Henry My wife was in a complete and utter state of euphoric bliss yesterday, the kind usually reserved for big things, like lottery wins, or the birth of a child.  But it was due to neither.  No, it was because...her favourite bath-stuff store in the States has come to Yorkdale.  That's right.  This was the cause of her joy.  Liquid hand soap.  Everytime we head south to visit, we have to come back with a carry-on bag sized load of the stuff, which we actually absent-mindedly tried to carry-on a few years ago, and watching that liquid gold get dumped into t Darryl Henry's blog | 2 comments | read more Monday-Tuesday Mon, 2008-09-15 13:50. Darryl Henry Hope you had a nice weekend.  We went to African Lion Safari Saturday, because see, Kayla is NUTS about The Lion King, and so we thought we'd take her to see the real thing, you know, because we are BRILLIANT PARENTS.  So that night, I asked her what her favourite part was.  "The train ride, daddy".  That's right, not the bus ride through the jungle where all the big animals are, including the lions, oh no, the train ride that we took mostly to get out of the rain, where we saw...one turtle.  One lonely, rather small, turtle. Sigh.  Kids.  Buy them the shiny new toy you've had to search the entire city for, and they play with the box! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment The Weekend! Fri, 2008-09-12 15:18. Darryl Henry Not only is Benicio Del Toro a fine actor, he apparently also knows where to go for great Italian in Toronto: our neighbourhood!  Seems he was spotted at one of our favourite spots, La Bruschetta on St. Clair between Dufferin and Landsdowne, whilst flim-festing this week.  I'm sure the family, Bruno and Sylvia and Brenda and everyone, treated him well.  They have plates on the wall, tons of them, signed by famous people who have eaten there, and many years ago a friend of mine, after what in hindsight was too much pinot grigio, bullied them into letting me sign one, despite A) I really didn't want to, and B), I'm not famous.  Sylvia, sensing my discomfort, didn't come to my aid, but rather had a plate and pen in front of me before I could say no grazie, because they're like family, albeit the family in Moonstruck.  And there my plate hung.  Beside Alan Thicke's. Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Thursday-Friday Thu, 2008-09-11 13:15. Darryl Henry Twice this week there has been a bee inside our packed St. Clair bus.  Trapped.  Him...and us.  Crawling along the window, then flying a bit, then crawling some more, trying to get out, all the while me, Mr. Bee-Phobic, standing there getting ever nervous, wonders what to do.  I mean, it's not like you can do the bee-dance in a crowded bus, right?!  You'd whack somebody!  And what if you swatted him, and he landed on a fellow passenger, and stung them?  You'd feel terrible.  Maybe there's a bee's nest where they park the busses overnight now or something.  Rocket guys, I know you have a million other things to do, but can you look into that? Darryl Henry's blog | 1 comment | read more Wednesday-Thursday Wed, 2008-09-10 15:15. Darryl Henry There were 34 letters to the editor in the Star today....and 31 of them were about Elizabeth May and the leader's debate.  31 out of 34.  31! I think that's more people than actually watched the last debate on television.   And now Stephen Harper is saying bring Ms. May on.  Good one!  Honestly, if anyone should sit it out, give up his seat, it's Mons. Duceppe, as let's face it, the Bloq has pretty much zero to say in the national interest.  Either way, it's all bon:  anything that gets people more interested in their countr Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Monday-Tuesday Mon, 2008-09-08 13:58. Darryl Henry Today, my lovely wife is hobbling about looking like my Auntie Jean before her hip replacement.  See, she did the Weekend to End Breast Cancer 2-day walk on the weekend, and walked 60K.  It would be like walking from the Ex grounds to the Burlington Skyway.  About 70,000 steps.  No like she was counting, though.  She told me today she has never at the very same time felt so good on the inside, and so bad on the outside!  5,000 other people did the walk, and over $13 million was raised.  I'm sure that helps take the sting of those blisters away.  Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more The Weekend! Fri, 2008-09-05 13:46. Darryl Henry The Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Thursday-Friday Thu, 2008-09-04 13:48. Darryl Henry It's that day today.  The one day of the year that I love...and hate.  The one day I embrace...and reject.  The one day I celebrate, and....um... not celebrate.  Dang.  What is the opposite of celebrate?  Man I was on such a roll.  Anyhow.  Today...is the start of the office NFL pool.  Yay! Boo.  Wish me luck.  Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Wednesday-Thursday Wed, 2008-09-03 14:25. Darryl Henry I have a problem.  My wife wants to go back to school shopping.  For a child who isn't even in school yet.  Not even close.  Kayla's 2.  Sigh.  I guess that's the power of the Flyer.  The Sale.  The Good Buy.  It's got my lovely wife in its clutches!  And won't let go!  Oh my.  Where did I put that Visa card...? Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Tuesday-Wednesday Tue, 2008-09-02 14:45. Darryl Henry Okay.  I understand why that mosquito bit me; it's what they do.  It's nature.  But did he/she have to bite me there?  Right in-between the shoulder blades?  The impossible-to-reach place?  Sigh.  I should have taken John Tesh's advice:  apparently if you set up a fan, it will basically blow the mosquitoes away and keep you bite-free.  Oh well.  The only blemish on an otherwise perfect long weekend is the one in the middle of my back.   That I just can't quite reach.  Argh! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment The (Long!) Weekend! Fri, 2008-08-29 12:02. Darryl Henry ong Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Thursday-Friday Thu, 2008-08-28 10:11. Darryl Henry Forgot to blog yesterday.  Sorry about that.  Morning Show lag.  I'm not kidding.  Honestly, getting up when these guys get up is MAD!  I don't know how they do it.  My alarm usually goes off at 6:30, so 4 is bit of an adjustment.  Working funny hours can't be good for a person.  I remember when my dad worked midnights at the paper factory in Etobicoke,  seeing him at the dinner table at 10pm or so, just out of bed, still half asleep and with hair that would have given Albert Einstein a run for his money, eating the re-heated dinner mom had made for us 5 hours earlier.  That could not have been fun.  And in fact, according to something I heard on John Tesh, can actually be unhealthy! Check this out: Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Tuesday-Wednesday Tue, 2008-08-26 14:35. Darryl Henry I've heard rumours.  I've heard that this...could be the WEEKEND OF THE SAUCE!  Yes.  The weekend the wonderful smell of tomatoes will hang sweetly in the air of my Corso Italia neighbourhood, as mason jar after mason jar is filled with homemade tomato sauce.  For my Italian friends, this is not a cause for celebration as it is long and arduous work.  But for me, raised on Ragu, I love it.  I mean, being British, my mom made a mean steak and kidney pie, which would have been nice except for the kidney part (kidneys.  I mean honestly.) but it just doesn't compare to a bowl of pasta kissed with fresh, homemade sauce, you know?!  No offence, mom...! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Monday-Tuesday Mon, 2008-08-25 13:54. Darryl Henry Hope you had a nice weekend!  We spent the entire thing  in our friend's pool.  That's right.  I almost called in pruney today.  I didn't think the boss would have been sympathetic though, so I thought better of it.  You know, it's so nice to have a friend with a pool!  Steve and Nadine and their 2 kids live in London, and it's always nice visiting them, and extra-nice when the weather's good.  Sometimes, a person needs the kind of day when you do nothing but float around, looking at clouds, listening to the cicadas buzz,  pondering if there's a bigger "I wish I thought of that!" thing in the world than the  pool noodle.  Ahh yes.  Thanks Steve & Nadine.  We needed that! Darryl Henry's blog | 1 comment The Weekend! Fri, 2008-08-22 14:26. Darryl Henry tHE wEEKEND Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Thursday-Friday Thu, 2008-08-21 14:13. Darryl Henry Sorry, must run -- my wife just called, she's off work early, she's down around King & Dufferin, and she wants me to meet her at take her to the Ex for some cotton candy.  Ahh, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do....!   Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Wednesday-Thursday Wed, 2008-08-20 13:55. Darryl Henry Radio stations can be...what's the best way to put this...umm,  interesting places, to say the least.  Take this morning for instance.  Who do I bump into as I'm walking down the hall?  The tycoon-guy from the Monopoly game.  That's right.  The fellow poking through the second 'O' on your Monopoly box had come to life.  It looked just like him. Roly-poly...top hat...white handle-bar moustache...black suit and cane...impressive.  He was promoting the new game with the Canadian cities.  By the way, I'm jealous of Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Tuesday-Wednesday Tue, 2008-08-19 13:44. Darryl Henry Tuesday Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Monday-Tuesday Mon, 2008-08-18 14:14. Darryl Henry We had our big backyard BBQ Sunday, and as chef, I learned an important BBQ lesson:  that is, veggie burgers don't take very long to cook.  No time at all, really.  No time!  None.  Well, not none, but certainly nowhere near as long as regular burgers.  Nope.  Not even close!  Not. Even. Close.  Sigh.  I felt for our vegetarian friends, who, as it turns out, don't eat meat, but, if given no other choice, will eat hockey puck.   Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment The Weekend! Fri, 2008-08-15 13:57. Darryl Henry Dear Mr. Skunk (or Ms. Skunk....I really wasn't that interested in getting close enough to check.  Sorry.), Um, it's me again, the human who found you hiding in our garage yesterday, the one who was sent in to investigate after his wife told him honey, something big is in our garage, because some really big things have been knocked over, and your yard waste bag has been tore into pretty good, holy cow it's like an M. Night Shyamalan movie in there, and I said oh please honey let me take a look and whoa! holy cow you're right!  Sure enough, you made such a mess, I thought it was some giant, man-eating raccoon or something, but it was just you, about the size of a loaf of bread, not even, hiding in the corner, scared I think, and kind of cute to be honest.  Anyhow, Mr./Ms. skunk, I asked you nicely to leave, and sure I tried to squirt you with a water pistol, but it was just water, and it was just to try and coax you out of there and out the door.  Sorry about that.  Anyhow, this morning there was no sign of you, so I'm hoping you accepted my offer to leave on your own after I left the door open for you.  I'm hoping.  Oh, and thanks for not spraying anything.  Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Thursday-Friday Thu, 2008-08-14 13:45. Darryl Henry The Ex opens Friday.  And new this year?  Are you sitting down?  This is big.  Ready?  It's... PIZZA ON A STICK!  YES!  Thank you, Mamma's Pizza.  They've taken a big, honkin' pizza slice, and baked it onto a paint stir-stick.  That's how big it is.  No popcycle stick, no sir. A PAINT STIR-STICK!  Now that's good.  Sorry Beijing Olympics.  Your seahorse-on-a-stick will have to wait.  I'm getting me a slice of pepperoni, and then strolling down the middway!   Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Wednesday-Thursday Wed, 2008-08-13 13:49. Darryl Henry I've come up with a new word.  I think it should replace "awesome", which, somehow it seems, has become, for every english-speaking person on the planet,  the default adjective for describing something good.  My new word is "phelpsian".  As in, "wow, that concert last night was totally phelpsian!"  What do you think?  Works for me.  Because man, honestly, that Michael Phelps is awesome. Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Tuesday-Wednesday Tue, 2008-08-12 14:50. Darryl Henry Have you caught it yet?  Have you?  You know it:  Will We Ever Win An Olympic Medal FEVER! Man.  It's right around this time every summer Olympics that I begin to wonder if we will even win just one.  5, 6 days in, and everytime I read the sports section, it's all Agony Of Defeat.  Want the Thrill Of Victory?  Buy an American paper.  Jeez!  Now, I know it's not only about the medals, but it would be nice to win a couple here or there.  And I just heard that Zimbabwe is ahead of us now.  I'm feeling feverish! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Monday-Tuesday Mon, 2008-08-11 14:56. Darryl Henry Back from vacation!  Yay!  And I learned something this vacation that, if you have children, you probably already know.  And that is, a vacation with a two and a half year old in tow isn't really a vacation so much as just a change of scene.  Ahh, yes.  Same...issues, different location!  Parenthood.  That's not to say we didn't have fun...we rented bikes and rode around Stanley Park, did the parks at Ambleside and Dunderave Beach, rode a ferry over to Vancouver Island...yes, it was great.  And to top it all off I think it may have Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more On Vacation! Fri, 2008-07-25 13:56. Darryl Henry Pre-Flight-Anxiety (n):  a condition that manifests itself in an irrational need to be completely packed and ready to fly somewhere several days before one's flight.  Like, at least 2 days.  3 would be good.  But honey, what about our clothes?  They'll be all wrinkly, no?  Doesn't matter.  Pack that stuff you spray on to remove wrinkles. Move it. We have to pack.  We're leaving in less than three days! Yes, my wife suffers from pre-flight-anxiety.  But that's okay.  We'll always...always...be ready to go, you know?  Which helps me:  I suffer from missed-flight anxiety.  If I could, I'd be at the airport 8 hours before the plane leaves!  Crazy, I know.  We make quite a pair, my wife and I!  Anyhow, off to Vancouver for a couple of weeks.  See you back here Monday August 11th! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Thursday-Friday Thu, 2008-07-24 13:46. Darryl Henry So.  We've had 3 times as much rain this summer compared to last year.  Every day, it seems, it rains, even if only a little.  The last two days were complete rain-outs.  Yeesh.  What to do?  Well..escape!  Escape it all, of course!  And that's exactly what the Henry family is going to do.  Get away from all this rain!   Make this wet summer a memory!  See ya!  Saturday, we're flying out to... Vancouver. Never mind. Yes, that's Henry Luck at work right there.  When we get back, don't be alarmed if we all have moss growing on us! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Wednesday-Thursday Wed, 2008-07-23 13:49. Darryl Henry Driving down Duplex Ave. Wednesday, in the Yonge/Eglinton area, I saw the best garage door ever.  Some guy has put a perfect, life-size  picture of a Rolls-Royce in a garage with the door open...on his garage door.  It looks like there's a Rolls in his garage!  Mind you, knowing that neighbourhood, there's a good chance there actually is....although something inside me hopes it's a Daewoo or something!  Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Tuesday-Wednesday Tue, 2008-07-22 13:45. Darryl Henry You know, I can still vividly remember the day, in Grade 12, when I went to get my bike from the school bike rack to ride home...my blue, 10-speed CCM beauty of a bike... and it was gone. Gone!  Stolen!  I had locked it up and everything!  Didn't matter.  It was gone.  And that felt bad.  I mean...that was my bike!  You know?  So, to you, Mr. alleged bike-thief-ring-guy...a hearty boo-hiss to you.  That's a rotten feeling.  You stink. By the way if you think maybe one of those bikes is yours, and chances are quite good one of them is (did you see the picture of all those bikes?!) here's what you need to get it back:  proof of ownership,  like the bill from when you bought it, or the serial number, or even just a picture of it.  And I hope you have better luck than me -- I never got mine back! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Monday-Tuesday Mon, 2008-07-21 13:51. Darryl Henry Up at the cottage we were on the weekend, and woke up to rain Sunday, with no break in sight.  When it rains up there, there is only one thing to do.  Leave!  So we thought we would all go and see the noon-hour showing of WALL-E at the theatre in Peterborough on the way home.  I loved it.  Tanya loved it.  But sorry to say, WALL-E was no Chipmunks or Kung Fu Panda (or even B-Movie for that matter) in the eyes of our wee Kayla.  She was captivated at first, but I guess there were too many scary noises and things blowing up for her, and she had to leave about 2/3 of the way through.  Luckily, mom took her to the arcade, allowing dad to watch it to the end.  Two thumbs up from me!  But in Kayla's case, let's call it 2 and a half booster-seats out of 5.  Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more The Weekend! Fri, 2008-07-18 13:51. Darryl Henry After getting thumped 7-2 in our beer league hockey game Thursday, I knew I had to treat myself.  I needed something to ease the pain.  And the cure for what ailed me was right on my way home:  a hot veal with cheese and mushrooms from California Sandwich!  Heaven!  That 7-2 drubbing, at the hands of a team called the "Hardcore Ducks" no less,  was nothing but a distant memory.  NOW magazine features the city's best sammys in its current issue, and my veal makes the list...one of the few times I've ever agreed with NOW, whose politics are justly slightly left of You've Got To Be Kidding.  But I digress.  Listen, you made it through another week -- maybe you're in for a treat too! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Thursday-Friday Thu, 2008-07-17 14:27. Darryl Henry It's official.  I am a failure at buying strawberries.  My wife removed me from my strawberry-buying duties this week, after purchasing yet another, in her opinion anyway, sub-par plastic box-thing of them.  Frankly, I'm shocked.  Shocked!  I always check very closely to make sure the berries are all nice and ripe!  Honest!  I don't just throw whichever one my hand lands on first into the cart.  No sir!  I lift the plastic box-thing up and scrutinize it, knowing full well the furry ones, and oh yes, there are furry ones in there sometimes!, knowing full well they like to hide.  In the middle.  Sneaky devils. Anyhow, I thought for sure this week I had selected one that would pass her muster...and as she pulled it out of the grocery bag...she looked at it...lifted it up...turned it on its side... Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Wednesday-Thursday Wed, 2008-07-16 13:49. Darryl Henry If you could PVR the World, and judging from the front page of the paper, the Chinese are working on it, I would put this morning on pause, and leave it there.  Forever.  Man!  You know, we've passed the midway point of July...the midway point of summer...and so far, so good, wouldn't you say?  Okay, not you sir, whose car got stuck in the water on Parkside Drive during last week's thunderstorm.  But honestly, no complaints from this quarter.  I only hope articulating this out loud doesn't put the Henry Whammy on the second half!  Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Tuesday-Wednesday Tue, 2008-07-15 14:30. Darryl Henry I still can't believe they're going to tear down Yankee Stadium!  The All-Star game is there this week for the last time.  Venerable Yankee Stadium.  The House That Ruth Built.  Historic.  Beautiful.  And as we discovered some 20 years ago, home to really, really hostile fans.  MAN!  We went there for a Jays series back in '84, wore our Jays caps and jerseys, and had every possible thing you could imagine thrown at us.  Luckily, all the seats were securely bolted to the floor, or they would have been airborn too.  Being smart kids, Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Monday-Tuesday Mon, 2008-07-14 14:44. Darryl Henry Went up to the cottage on the weekend, and vowed to keep the speed at 100 k/h.  Ever since, years ago, I was told the OPP set their radars at 120 (which may or may not be true, but it sounded good to me!), I pretty much have been a 119k/h kinda guy.  But with gas the way it is, I decided to turn over a new leaf.  Now, I did the same thing a month ago -- went up north, 100 all the way...and I felt like a tortoise.  With sore tortoise feet.  People were whizzing by me like crazy!  But this weekend....it sure seemed different.  It felt like the majority of us -- not just a few, but the majority -- were actually sticking to the limit.  Being smart!  Obeying the law!  Saving gas!  Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more The Weekend! Fri, 2008-07-11 14:33. Darryl Henry Darn this really hot heat!  Because of it, we've been driving around lately with the windows rolled up and the A/C on, and we have no idea what we're missing.  Neither did I until Wednesday.  I was on the 407, and I thought for a change, I'd open the windows up .  And honest to goodness, it hit me:  I thought I was driving through Provence.  It smelled GREAT out there!  I don't know if it's all those purple clover flowers by the side of the road, but holy cow!  It's like the inside of a potpourri factory!  I'm not kidding!  Roll down the windows and find out for yourself.   But maybe not Saturday.  Humidex of 40? Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Thursday-Friday Thu, 2008-07-10 13:45. Darryl Henry Kayla had us up all night last night.  Crying.  For no real reason.  Bad dream honey?  "No."  Are you not feeling well?  *sniff* No."  So there's nothing wrong?  "*sob* No."  Okay then.  It's sleepytime, right?  "NO!"   Sigh.  I guess when you're two, you're allowed to just...cry.  But why does it have to happen between 1 and 4am?  Oh, parenthood...!   Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Wednesday-Thursday Wed, 2008-07-09 14:20. Darryl Henry Dogs of the Bloor/Landsdowne neighbourhood, you have my daughter to thank.  Yes, I had to skip my Tuesday night sax lesson at Long & McQuade because the storm scared Kayla, and she didn't want dad to leave (that was a first...and I have to say..boy did that feel good!) so I had to call Greg my teacher at the last minute, and cancel.  Meaning the canines in that part of town didn't have to put up with my trying to hit a high 'E' as well as all the thunder and lightning.  Fido, you're welcome.  Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Wednesday-Thursday Wed, 2008-07-09 13:55. Darryl Henry Dogs of the Bloor/Landsdowne neighbourhood, you have my daughter to thank.  Yes, I had to skip my Tuesday night sax lesson a Long & McQuade because the storm scared Kayla, and she didn't want dad to leave (that was a first...and I have to say..boy did that feel good!) so I had to call Greg my teacher at the last minute, and cancel.  Meaning the canines in that part of town didn't have to put up with my trying to hit a high 'E' as well as the thunder and lightning.  And this is a good thing. Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Tuesday-Wednesday Tue, 2008-07-08 14:43. Darryl Henry Okay, it's official.  The price of gas is affecting our mental health.  According to a local towing company, they've seen an increase of 40% of people calling in to say they've run out of gas.  40%!  I don't think this is a case of 40% of us suddenly becoming my wife, who will almost always let the tank run dry before gassing up, much to her husband's consternation.  No!  I think what this is is a new, and very real medical condition:  gasapumpaphobia.  Fear of filling up.  Symptoms include a sense of dread whenever chec Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Monday-Tuesday Mon, 2008-07-07 13:52. Darryl Henry I went a whole week without once wearing socks.  MAN was it hot!  Myrtle Beach isn't that far south, but last week it felt like it was right on the equator.  Kayla did manage to wear all 5 hats packed for her, and in fact added another (a Dora hat, natch...a gift from grandpa, aka Bop Bop!).  Great weather, fun at the beach and at the pool...and the best Southern cooking ever (Prosser's Family BBQ in Murrell's Inlet.  Go if even only for the chicken and dumplings.  YUM!).  But, as always...nice to be back.  And...still not wearing socks!  Ahh, summer....! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Vacation time! Fri, 2008-06-27 14:28. Darryl Henry 5 hats.  My wife has packed 5 hats for Kayla.  5 Hats.  We're going to be away, down in Myrtle Beach, for 7 days.  5 hats. Honestly, the airlines, now that they charge for bags, must love my wife! Troy McCallum will be sitting in for the week while I'm away.  Talk to you Monday, July 7th, when I get back! Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Wednesday-Thursday Wed, 2008-06-25 13:40. Darryl Henry My friend Gary bought a trampoline for his 2 daughters on the weekend.  $900 dollars. $900 dollars! Apparently it's "The World's Safest Trampoline!",  and for that kind of dough, I'd expect it to come with Nadia Comaneci waiting at the side in case anyone falls.  Man!  Anyhow, it took Gary 6 hours to put together, and it was one of those things where he put it together, realized he put it together wrong, and thus had to re- put it together.  Which can only mean one thing:  starting Thursday, EVERY DAY OF HIS GIRLS' SUMMER VA Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Tuesday-Wednesday Tue, 2008-06-24 14:23. Darryl Henry So I was walking down the street Friday afternoon, around Yonge & Bloor, and this nice girl gives me a free mini-bottle of Frank's hot sauce, which I used on my lunch today.  I love living in the city!  Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment Monday-Tuesday Mon, 2008-06-23 13:48. Darryl Henry We all knew it was going to happen.  You could feel it.  It was palpable.  As soon as the kids broke out the super-soakers Sunday at the birthday party we were at, you just knew it was only a matter of time...before the adults got into it.  Oh YEAH!   And, boy was that FUN!  The highlight was when our friend Celeste aimed for her husband...fired...and shot a rope of water directly behind her.  She was holding the thing backwards!  And it nailed her nan.  Her nan!  Right in the face.  Oh, it's all fun and games un Darryl Henry's blog | add new comment | read more Lottery Lottery results for Sat, Jul 04 Horoscope Aries: The conflict between... Taurus: Instead, focus your ... 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